Pondering the Light: Beginning the New Year in Question

Photo by Trista Wynne

It seems fitting to me to begin the new year with questions rather than with statements.  Not only do I not know what the future holds, but I have many questions about the past.  The more assertions I come across in my studies, the more I pause for reflection and pondering.  So, as the year of 2010 comes to an end, I begin my new journal with ponderings for my Lord.  I post some of them here in hopes that you also will approach the throne of grace with the confidence of knowing that no matter how deep your questionin might be, you will always be loved and accepted as a child of the Most High.

The ponderings below came in response to a song by a couple of my dear friends reflecting on Matthew 2:1-18, and a meditation by one of my professors on the same passage.  Thank you, dear sisters and brother in Christ, for sharing your song and meditations .  Here are my own ponderings as I speak to my Beloved, the Light of the world:

Light of the world, did you know the darkness You were coming into? Were You, as an infant, cognizant of the stench of death? While the blood of the innocents was shed around You, Mary comforted You with her breast, and Your presence comforted her, too. Like Moses, You entered the world in safety, but many did not see their second birthday while You were hidden away.

Did this weigh on You? When You were a child growing up in Nazareth, were You the only one Your age? Did you see the tears shining in Your father’s eyes at the Passover meal when he recited the way that Moses received his name and his people receive their freedom? Did the people speak in hushed tones as You played with the other children? Did you wonder what your life was preserved for? Did the blood of the innocents cry out to you from the ground as it did with Cain and Able? Was Your compassion deepened on account of this lamentation? Were you aware of their spirits crying out for justice?

When You grew to be a man, and accepted Your anointing, had You wrestled with Your past as well as Your future? Were You up late at night pondering the anguish of the world? Did You wake in the morning to the salty taste of tears on Your pillow? Were you always grieved by the pain of those around You?

I, too, hear the lament. Rachel cries out from every corner of the earth! Even the earth itself is grieved in spirit. How long, O Lord?! How long until every tear is wiped away? How long until everyone acknowledges, through actions of love and peace and justice, that You are Lord above all of creation? How long until Your world is consoled?