Earnest Anticipation & Fulfillment of Lifelong Dreams

I have earnestly longed to share this meal with you!

These are Jesus' words as he lifted the bread above His precious head during the final Passover meal of his ministry.  These are the words I will speak early tomorrow morning as I lift the bread and wine at the altar in Murrayhills Christian Church.

How long I have waited to share this meal with you!  I have dreamed of this very moment from the time I was three years old. 

This is what has been going through  my mind ever since I was asked to lead communion and to speak the words of institution over the bread and wine on this day.  I have an almost child-like giddiness bubbling up within my spirit as I contemplate the honor I have been given by being asked to preside at the Table.  Like the great women of old: Miriam, the first worship leader of Israel after the Exodus; Hannah, the barren woman giving thanks for the gift of a child of promise and prophecy; and Mother Mary, giving thanks for the salvation of all humankind, my spirit is filled with songs of praise and joy at the fulfillment of a lifelong dream.

Eucharist - A Meal of Thanksgiving - Photo by Trista Wynne

As I pray and consider the Scriptures etched in my heart, my imagination fills out what might have been going through Jesus' mind, the things He wanted to say but couldn't for one reason or another, on that evening so many years ago...

You don't yet know the importance of this meal.  You've been celebrating it all your lives, and yet the Spirit of God still has more light to shed on your hearts and minds.  Our Beloved in Heaven is working, even in this very moment, to bring the Kingdom of Peace and Love to the earth through you.  And it starts here, with this bread, with this wine, with the sharing of this meal.  The Kingdom of God begins with you.

Sighing over the False Prophets

Bless the Lord, my soul,
and bless God's holy name.
Bless the Lord, my soul,
who leads me into life.

Beloved,
You do lead us into life.  You came so that we might have life and have it abundantly.  You have given us a Spirit of love that casts out fear.  You are our refuge in time of trouble and a fortress in whom we find shelter and steadfast love.

O Lord, You do not desire oppression.  Tyranny and coercion are detestable in Your sight.  When Your disciples fought among themselves about who ought to have more power and influence, you clearly stated that this power struggle has no place in Your Kingdom.   Why then, do we insist on stratifying ourselves and claiming that our caste system within the family of God has Your blessing?

Searching for You outside the Church Walls

Ah, Lord,

You know my heart!  I just want to find a community that lives out Your love and proclaims freedom and peace.  After the church visit that I have recently had, my heart is saddened, but still, I continue to search for you.  Surely it shouldn't be this hard to find unharnessed love!

Why should I have to look any farther than the church that claims to be following You, Lord Jesus?  Why must I look beyond the people who claim to know You in order to find justice, peace and steadfast love?  I just don't understand.  I wish I could take people at their word, and that the one who claims to be a Christian would walk in Your way: loving You with their whole being, and loving their neighbors (with a wide definition!) as much as they love themselves.

Extreme Humility

This post was composed last Wednesday as I reflected on the icon of extreme humility in St Thomas' chapel, but I wanted to include a photo when I shared it and didn't have my camera with me at the time.  So, now that I have the icon to show you, please ponder along with my prayer below.

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A New Creation: Life, Death & Resurrection for All

Beloved,

These last few days have been filled to the brim with contemplations regarding life, death and the communion of saints.  Such contemplations and percolations have been generated by a great many things even over the last few years, to be sure.  Particularly poignant have been the experiences of loss of loved ones, the study of the Scriptures and church history, the immersion into zombie culture that my husband and I have entered in Seattle, and observations we have of the world and society around us. 

There is much confusion in our culture about what constitutes life and what death truly is.  Your word has much to add to this discussion.  I pray, Dear One, that the hope found in Your promises will be preached, and that new life will be openly received here in this place.

What do You Have in Your Hands?

The question posed by the pastor at Westminster Chapel this morning echoes through my heart.  What do we have in our hands, bodies, minds, spirits, talents and being that the Lord desires to use?  What are the limitations we impose upon ourselves?  God has gifted us with a vast array of talents and personality traits.  All of them can be used for God’s glory.  How do our perceived limitations get in the way?  Maybe we have much more to offer than we believe.  What would the Lord like to do in, with and through us?

"Working Hands" - Photo by Matthew Wynne

I wonder about these things as I prepare to lay my head against the pillow this evening.  Just a few short hours ago we found ourselves in the Fremont Abbey with the Church of the Apostles.  The speaker there reflected on Jesus’ assertions from the gospel of John. “I am the good shepherd.”  “I am the door.”  These images all give us clues as to what our Lord is like.

Joining together of Old and New: Praying for Healing and Unity of the Generations in the Church of Christ

"Strong Roots" - Photo by Trista Wynne

Beloved,

My heart is downcast within me.  I miss my time with my grandma, and I long for encouraging interactions with the elder generations around me.  You graciously have provided me with several neighbors with whom I am interacting on a regular basis who are in the generation before me, and we learn so much from one another.  I do, however, long for the wisdom and encouragement that came from my grandma.  With her I felt safe and accepted for who I was.  I was never afraid to admit a wrongdoing or a mistake, for we could often laugh together about something similar she had done when she was my age.  She had many stories to tell me that brought history to life.  I always learned something new when we were together.  She deeply valued our relationship as well. 

My stories and adventures brought her great joy and she was always delighted to hear about the new things that I tried.  We even had many adventures where we tried new things together.  New recipes and outdoor exploring sites came forth out of our mutual desire to learn and to grow.  She saw You in me, and she listened attentively as I explored the truths that Your Spirit was speaking.  We prayed together often, and she opened up Scriptures to me in exciting, tangible ways through her life stories.  We were respected, valued and loved.  Perhaps this is why, even though we didn’t see one another every week, when we were together, it was as though we had never parted.  I look forward to the time when we will be reunited together in Your Holy Kingdom, when all things are made new in the fullness of time.

"New Breath" - Photo by Trista Wynne

My heart is downcast, though, because relationships like this are hard to come by in Your Church today.  The elder members neglect to encourage the younger generations and neither group respects the other.  I see the need for something new for Your Church to enter into the future, but know that You have not equipped me for building or sustaining; You have created me as a visionary, a dreamer, a creative spirit whose exuberance and delight in You might inspire others to bring forth this new thing that is percolating on the edges of the present day.  And so, dear Lord, I invite others to join me in the following prayer so that we might enter into this glorious future well-equipped for the mission work that You have given Your peoples to accomplish.  We pray for unity and healing so that the world may know that You are Love!

We pray, dear Lord, that you might bring the generations throughout your Church together so that the younger generations might receive encouragement and mentoring, and the older generations might feel appreciated and valued.  We pray for healing of the wounds which each party has inflicted upon the other.  Wherever we have contributed to these wounds, we pray for grace and forgiveness.  Grant us the wisdom and the courage to join together, to share our stories and to listen prayerfully to one another so that together we can enter into the blessed future that You are preparing for your worldwide Church.  We pray for denominational and generational borders to gently fade so that a new, vibrant, united Church might be seen and that, as Your Beloved Son prayed, we might be known by our love of one another. 

"Beauty in New Life" - Photo by Trista Wynne

May You, O Lord, raise up from among us prophets and visionaries, builders and activists, and developers of sustainability.  May we work together so that future generations will look back upon our time and see Your Sophia-Spirit moving through what we pray, say and do together.  May it all be for our Beloved's glory in Christ Jesus.

Empowered by the Holy Spirit, we pray this in the name of Jesus the Christ, and we desire Your glory above our own.  Amen.

Christ is Risen! Alleluia!

Ah Beloved,

Today we celebrate Your resurrection from the grave! We lift songs and dance and all kinds of exuberance as we remember all that You have accomplished through Your birth, life, death, resurrection and ascension. We look forward to the time when You will come again to complete Your new creation. Maranatha! Come, Lord Jesus! Amen.



Although the audio quality is a little low, (a simple voice recorder was left in the pews while we prepared to lead this song) I still think you'll enjoy it. The worship team, bell choir, organist and choral groups of the church all worked together to craft this 2009 version of a familiar Easter hymn. Special thanks to the people of St Peter's and Frankincense for their love and prayers over the years. We remember our time together fondly.

The video here visually walks through Palm Sunday and the slowly darkening week we have just been through. Beginning with the palm fronds, then progressing through images of fall, and the bitter cold of winter, I wanted to remember through pictures the journey of Holy Week. The sun sets and photos from a local cemetery remind us of the sad day when our Lord was crucified, died and was buried. These images soon give way, following a burst of lightning, to the glorious joy of new life that we find in the resurrection.

A brilliant display of springtime color reminds us that we are in the season of growth. We now find ourselves looking forward to the delightful days of summer, just as we await the fullness of time when all things are finally made new, and there is no more pain, sorrow, loss, war or bloodshed. We are in an in between time, somewhere between light and shadows, living as fully as we can in the here and now while always keeping a watchful eye for the unfolding of the glorious Kingdom of our Beloved.

Blessings to you all on this most holy of days.

Happy Easter, 2011.

Palms, Presence and Unexpected Joy

Ah Beloved,

Thank You for Your presence at the chapel this morning!  Sophia-Spirit, You flowed through the message and music, speaking to my husband and I both in ways that were unexpected and surprising.  We entered that place feeling a little awkward, but soon felt welcomed.  Since the worshipping area was close to the front doors, it was easy to see where to go, and the combination of worship and arts was clearly evident from the beginning.  Both of these things were very appealing to us.

There were a few things that made me think I’d rather go elsewhere, like the loudness of the music and the strange placement of the early offering.  For the first half of the message, I felt like I was listening to one of my brothers tell a story.  The pastor jumped all over the place, citing Bible passages from Hebrews, Philippians, Genesis, Jonah and John.  My mind was a metal bal inside a pinball machine!  But then, somewhere about two-thirds of the way in, the pastor suddenly seemed to connect with Your Spirit of Peace, and clarity came.  The last portion of the sermon was poignant, and exactly what we needed to hear today.

Then we prayed the prayer that You taught Your disciples, and many hands around us were lifted.  Your Presence was tangibly felt, and complete surrender fell upon everyone in the crowd.  In those moments following the sermon and the prayer, the room seemed to vibrate with energy, and then, when the band began to play, every hair on my body stood on end.  I don’t think a single person stood still in that room.  We couldn’t!  You were there!  My husband’s hand met mine, and we were practically elevated off the floor!  What energy!

What a gift!  What an unexpected gift!  Ah, Beloved King of kings, how awesome it was to worship you in a way that used our entire being!  To sing to you with the kind of music that naturally makes us want to dance fully connects our heads, hearts and bodies in worship.  We were so blessed to receive Your Presence today.  And I am humbled, because You came and met us where we least expected it.  The theology at that church is very different than mine, and they have restrictive burdens that I feel are highly unnecessary, but even there You are working. 

"Unexpected Beauty" - Photo by Trista Wynne

You come where we least expect You, and You act in loving kindness, granting Your Presence even to those who do not understand.  I suppose this unexpected Presence is what Palm Sunday is all about, for You entered Jerusalem not as the messiah hell-bent on war and overthrowing the oppressive powers, but as the gentle King of the Universe, humble and riding on a donkey.  You came in peace, knowing that You had the rest of eternity to make all things right.  Your presence then came as a surprise, even to those who knew You best; so it is even today.

Blessed King, may we be continually surprised by Your loving kindness for all of creation, and may we do our best to reflect this same unrequited love to all, amen.

Hope & Healing on the Horizon: Reflecting the Day to Come in the Present Day



Blessed Creator, Lover Divine ~

Thank You for the gifts of music, rhythm, friendship, connection, creativity and ingenuity! Each of these have played significant roles throughout this weekend. The haunting melodies of the women’s choir on Friday, the heartbeat rhythm of the sacred drumming circle Saturday and the fluttering of the violin strings from the service this morning all ebb and flow together in my spirit’s inner ear. For these sounds, I am very grateful.

These last three days have filled me with joy and left me hungry for more: more music, more mystery, more marvelous connections with You, Your creation and Your peoples! Lord, in all of these things I find myself drinking deeply from Your wellspring of life and desiring more of You. What joys I discover, both inside and outside of the Church, and what a palpable sense of Your presence I feel! Where could I go where You are not present? In the adoration from a young child, in the whispering wind in the willow, in the purr of our warm kitties, You are there. In the thundering rainstorm, in the calm that follows, in the gentle caress of a passionate lover, You are there. And even in the times when we do not know, perhaps most especially in the places we least expect, You, Beloved, are there.


"A Hidden Light Bursting Forth" - Photo by Trista Wynne

 I consider the times of abandonment, where waves of loss, anger, shame or abuse overshadow the love and light that You desire to share. There are horrors in this world that we would rather not know, or see, or imagine, or remember, but even in these times and places, You are there. How You are working to heal the wounds which scar us all, we cannot always see or know, but still You are there. Why some people die and others remain, we do not always understand, but still, O Lord, You are there. And why some tyrants lead for so long or corruption seems so rampant, we cannot fathom, but even there, even in those times, You are there.

You are there, but You are not silent. You are there, but You do not remain hidden. In the midst of our deepest trials: the shaking of the earth, the desolation of Your planet, the cruel treatment of our loved ones, in these times You are actively working to plant seeds of new life. Seeds of hope begin to sprout, desire for life and peace rises, and Your Sophia-Spirit breathes afresh into all of these situations. Even now She is working to bring forth assurance that Your creation is not forsaken, but in the process of being made new. She grants us visions of justice, of mercy, of peace and provision for all through the love which finds its origins in Jesus.

In the midst of the direst of circumstances, You, O Lord, are present and working to prepare the way for Your new Day, a day we can only imagine in part. You have given us glimpses through simple and complex word-pictures granted through Your prophets old and new. Despite their words, we sometimes forget the hope of what is yet to come. We neglect to actively shape our present reality to reflect Your Kingdom on the earth. Forgive us, renew us, and grant us the courage and wisdom to fully live the lives You gave to us, and to walk in Your way of love, mercy, justice and provision for all.

Ah, Beloved, Your active and creative Sophia-Spirit became clearly evident in Biblical times. May we all learn to be receptive to Her movements today. May we become active reflections of Your new creation in the midst of our present reality. May we seek Your presence of Love and Grace and Peace and Truth wherever You may be found. And may we all come to know how intimately we are connected with one another, with Your creation, and with You through Jesus the Lover of all, amen.

The Kingdom, Clay & Embryos in the Womb: Reflecting on Change & Shaping of the Future

Beloved,

Transitions are difficult and hard on the heart even when we know the decisions are right. With Frankincense shifting to an “unplugged” version of meeting with lower frequency, the majority of our Sunday evenings will open up but it means we must say farewell to the way things have been. Maybe this will enable me to do the missiological work which You have been fairly clearly prompting me to do since You have been developing in me a heart for the un-churched. Maybe You have something completely different in store for us all than we had envisioned for ourselves. Maybe this is true for more than simply the place in which we worship; maybe it is true of our lives as well.

In a sermon given last week by our dear friend and pastor in Beaverton, the image of being a lump of clay was lifted up as one of the most difficult yet necessary ways in which we as human beings are referenced in the Bible. We, as he said, have a hard time accepting this reality, for we are indoctrinated by our culture to believe that we do (or should) control our own movements and shaping. Simply laying in Your hands and allowing You to mold us into something new is counter-intuitive to us once we emerge from the womb.

"In the Potter's Hands" - Photo by Trista Wynne

No wonder You said we must be born anew to enter the Kingdom! And no wonder Lady Julian saw all of creation as encompassed in Your Divine womb! We must return to a place of complete connection with You so that we can be birthed into a new life of trust, freedom and abundance. As long as we are trying to shape ourselves, we are not relying on You, and so we are not able to reach our full potential because only You know what fullness of life really means.

I know, Beloved, many who read the rest of this prayer will have difficulty joining me in this exercise of trust since the earthquakes in Japan and the Tsunamis that followed are still so fresh in our minds. News of wars, famines and pestilence floods our minds when we turn on our electronics, and we find ourselves battling depression, anxiety and all sorts of disharmony. But in a world of tension and fear, where chaos and disturbance threaten the shalom You so deeply desire, I feel You calling me, and calling the world, to seek comfort in You. Although there are forces acting in opposition to Your desires for peace, health and wholeness, whenever Your messengers of truth come into the world, their greeting is always “fear not”. May we all learn to live in fullness of trust that in the end You will make everything right.

And so, dear Potter, desiring to trust You more and desiring to enter the fullness of the Kingdom while becoming more fully present here on the earth, I simply lay down my expectations of myself, of my future, of my relationships, of my worshipping community, and of the world around me. May I, and all that I carry, be as clay in Your hands or as an embryo in Your uterus. Let it all take shape as You so desire. Through the Holy Spirit, in Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

The Family Crest: A Reflection on Ash Wednesday

What if our crosses were always visible? No, I’m not talking about the gold-plated ones we chain around our necks after shelling out a bunch of cash! I’m talking about the ones on our foreheads, the ones that the minister signs us with when we are baptized. What if every day was Ash Wednesday and everybody could see the mark of Christ on us all the time? How would that change us? How would our relationships change? How would the perceptions that others have of us be impacted?

"The Family Crest" - Photo by Trista Wynne

Lord, I wonder about Your people – those who go by Your name in this area tend to blend in. We don’t let Your mark be shown except on merchandise. We buy crafts and jewelry and t-shirts and mugs with Your Family Crest, but we neglect the deeper call to reflect the Family Name through our actions and lifestyle.

It seems that we are about as loyal to You as to any brand name or sports team. We can become as defensive regarding creed and liturgy as devoted sports fans or apple users are when their team or product is challenged. And yet, sadly, that defense is about as deep as the devotion goes.

How ecstatic sports fans get if they come face to face with the players they obsess over! Will the same be true of Your peoples? Is it true today?

If we truly are followers of Your Way, Beloved, and we believe Your Word, then we will see Your reflection in every person, animal and plant throughout the world. And if that is true then we encounter You every day. Can we say that we are devoted to You and yet neglect or reject our fellow human beings, our fellow animals, or the rest of creation? How utterly absurd!

So, Beloved, what would life be like if Your Family Crest was visible on our foreheads? At the very least we would be known as ambassadors in Your world, for good or for ill. But, if we instead are in deep enough relationship with You to take devotion beyond the superficial, then we will allow our lives to be molded into the perfect reflection of Your love, and that is how Your Family crest – the cross – would become visible in the world.

Ah, Beloved, let it be so! May our Family be known for the thoughts, words and actions which reflect Your great love for the entire creation: people, animals, earth and plants alike. Mold and shape us into Your image once again. May all things be found dripping Your glory and bearing Your Family Crest, through the Holy Spirit, in Jesus’ name, amen.

A Bit of Sunshine: Beholding the Light Pouring in through the Window

Ah, sunshine! As you pour into our windows, filling these rooms with light, all of the creatures in our household are drawn to you. The ladybugs in the windowsill come out of their hiding, breaking forth with joy and zipping around our apartment. Our kitties stretch and yawn, leaping from the softness of their beds to find comfort in the warmth of your rays, and the geranium leaves spread wide, pulling the stalk closer to where you are.

"Basking in the Light" - Photo by Trista Wynne

Dear Beloved, as I consider Your precious gift of sunshine, I ponder the gift which You call us to be: the light of the world – vivid reflections of Your own Light and Life. When we are putting all of our energy into the work of Your Kingdom and reflecting Your incarnational ministry through our thoughts, words and actions, I wonder if the rest of the world will stop and take notice, like my household takes note of the sunshine today. Will people be drawn toward Your light in our lives as our kitties are to the sunlight?

The business-like model and measurement of “effectiveness” used in many churches suggests so. But sometimes, Beloved, I wonder if, rather than serving and loving you, this way of performance-focused ministry is really serving a false manifestation of You. Maybe it’s idolatrous… I wonder, Beloved, because when I read the gospels, I see a lot of rejection of the True Light of Your Kingdom. What makes me think that my ministry will, or should, be any different?

I also think, though, that for a time, You did have many who followed and sought after You: the weak, the poor the unclean, the infirm, the despised, the widows, the orphans, the foreigners – all of these were drawn to You. Even a few of the feared soldiers, scorned tax collectors and powerful rulers sought Your counsel. Still, all of them, even Your closest friends, fled, or even worse, betrayed You into the hands of wickedness.

Oh, Beloved, thank You that the story does not end there! Much is yet to be revealed regarding the Light, Your Light, which shines from everlasting to everlasting. We, dear Lord, only have a small window through which to see. Thank You for guiding and encouraging us when our view is limited. Thank You for still choosing to shine through Your world-wide church, even when some sections appear to neglect reflecting You outward from their midst. Thank You for giving even simple servants, like me, a bit of Your light, and for showing us, though Your Spirit of Wisdom and Grace, how to shine.

May the light You have given, and the tasks You have prepared for us to accomplish, bring glory for Your holy name, O Lord, my King. And for the people whom You have given to us in order that we might love them as You love us: may they experience joy, warmth and peace in our presence just as our kitties receive these things through the light of Your sunshine. Amen.

Rest & Reconnection: Thanksgiving & Hope for Peace

Good afternoon, Beloved ~

The sunshine You are providing today is marvelous! Thank You for this glorious gift of grace and joy! Thank You for this day on which to rest and reflect on You!

Thank You for the gift of my husband. When I rest in the crook of his strong, gentle arms and listen to his heartbeat while my head lays on his chest, I find reflection of Your love. Thank You, Beloved, for speaking to me in this way. I pray that I, too, might become a tangible reflection of Your love here for many. May the words that I write, speak and sing, and the actions of my head, heart, hands and feet produce an abundance of fruit for Your Garden on the earth.

Thank You for this day of rest and reconnection!

"Reconnection" - Photo by Trista Wynne

For my friends, my sisters and brothers of many backgrounds who have trouble feeling close to You, O Beloved, surround them with compassion and grace! Raise up many to love on Your behalf. For those who feel ashamed or alone, O Lord, restore; reveal Yourself and let Your face shine through us who are called by Your name. O Christ, grant Your seekers the compassion to love in Your way; expand out hearts, minds and hands so we can reflect You to the ends of the earth. O Spirit of Life, grant wisdom and courage to the leaders of all the nations; infuse each one with the desire for peace and reconciliation so all peoples can enter Your Presence.

May all enemies be reconciled and striving cease to the ends of the earth! May all peoples be drawn to You and Love be known by all! May we unite and work together to reveal Your Kingdom through Your Holy Spirit, in Jesus’ name, amen.

Empty or Full? – A Lament and Prayer for Corporations, Countries and Church

Ah, Lord, as I consider the large entities and the individuals who are being hurt or overlooked by them, I wonder about the state of the world… Why does the “healthcare” industry build more and more edifices to glorify themselves while the community clinic struggles? Why does the mega-church continue to grow while the small church, which cares for the community, suffers? Why does the corporation grow and the family shop fail? Dear Lord, why is it so?

The large entities have nothing of lasting value! They are impersonal, greedy, self-serving gluttons feeding on unsuspecting prey. The victims don’t even run and hide from the heartless beasts awaiting their souls! They wait in lines impatiently hurrying to be devoured whole!

They are like animals without sense! Or worse, they are zombies devouring one another on account of the infection of the corporations they serve! Who will wake them from their stupor? Who will save the next generation from their clawing grasp? Who will speak for You and free these zombies from their infection? Who will come and heal the poisoned land and clean the polluted water? Who will bring equity and break the shackles of greed and power? Who will restore shalom throughout the earth? How long, O Lord, must we wait for our salvation? How long until all peoples can hear Your voice? Won’t You send a messenger again? Won’t You release Your Spirit of Truth to speak throughout the nations? Won’t You heed the cry of broken peoples, the wounded, the deprived, the poor, the senseless, the lost and the empty who think they are full?

The Egyptian tyrant has fallen; good! But who will take his place? Does the military have any more compassion than he? Will an elected official have integrity and pursue peace? Does our government provide any hope for the rest of the world desiring freedom? Do we know what we’re doing? What do You think as You watch this unfold? Will You intervene and bring a hopeful future to this people longing for light? Are Your seekers prepared to follow Your lead?

What about South Sudan, Lord? Are You working in their midst as this country prepares to be birthed? Will Your desire for peace and justice and love and equity be heard in this newest of countries? Are Your followers called to a particular action for them?

How, O Lord, are we to work for peace, justice, equity and love throughout the world when we don’t even have it at home? Our own country is found to be lacking when it comes to the simple task of providing everyone with food, clothing, shelter, security, medical care and psychological, emotional and spiritual support. Why, then, do we think that we can tell othe countries how they ought to act? Lord, who do we think we are?! We are not You!

Your Church (worldwide) however is called to act on Your behalf. Are we acting in ways that show the world what You desire? Can the world look at us and see You?  Or are we, like helpless plants, simply frozen in winter, longing for spring?

"Longing for Spring" - Photo by Trista Wynne

O Lord, I know that I am an imperfect being, but I do desire to be likened unto You. And many others in Your Church, who are also imperfect beings, are also desiring to be likened unto You. Dear Lord, although we cannot attain this perfection as individuals, I do believe that You are in the midst of granting it to the entire gathering. I pray, Lord, that through Your immense love and mercy, we might all learn how to reflect You, or rather, to become so transparent that You would easily be seen. In order for this to happen, Lord, I believe that we need to empty ourselves of the desire even to exist, because in this desire, we serve our own desires instead of Yours. Help us, Lord, as an entire community across time and space, to be willing to be emptied and to let You fill us with Yourself.

What would “church” look like if we really acted as though You were with us and not far removed from our midst?  For now, we, like the little rosehips above, are simply caught between seasons, half-frozen in the winter of waiting, but desperately longing for the warm spring-breath of Your Holy Spirit.  We wait with Jesus’ name on our lips, whispering prayers for Your grace.  Maranatha!  Come, Lord Jesus, and stir us to newness of life.

On a Hardening Heart: Pondering a Change of Direction

Dear Lord,

My heart is growing more rigid today. Is this of You, in preparation for separation or transition, or do I need to address something? If I am growing more rigid in a way that is not of You, I pray for a softening of heart and new visioning for the future.

I release all that I am and all that I have and all that I am doing into your care, admitting once more that it was never really mine to begin with. Only let me live to Your glory.

Ah, Lord, is this where You want me to be? Does it allow me to be doing what You would want me to be doing? What have I chosen a paper on a topic that would cause me such grief?!

I think that it’s because I know that it breaks Your heart like it breaks mine. And You, as the Beloved of all people who calls even simple folk like me in the darkest parts of the night to come hear Your heartbeat, You speak to my heart concerning the depth of Your passions, and I often cry Your tears.

Your peoples are crying for justice; O Lord, I hear them! Your peoples are crying for mercy; O Lord, I join in their plea! Your peoples are crying for Your Kingdom; O Lord, let Your Kingdom shine!

Papa, our Papa-God,
who hears our cries in heaven,
may Your Kingdom come
     be evident here and now
     and everywhere throughout the earth!

May Your name,
which is above all names
     be praised forever more!

*****

Ah, Lord, You bring me to the Lamentations of Jeremiah, and I have prayed them all as my prayer this evening on behalf of all who suffer and groan. In the midst of the suffering, several verses stand out as words of trust and hope, and I pray that I might be able to speak these words with truth and conviction. Your steadfast love endures, O Lord, and in the midst of everything, even during severe reprimand, this much remains true throughout eternity.

Teach me, Lord, and all of those who are called to minister in Your name, whatever You would like to teach us through these words of lament and hope. My spirit continues to lift this prayer and to be in dialogue with You, even as I prepare to enter my slumber. I do want to be Your servant, for You are a loving, compassionate and just Master, my Love!