Born to be a Healer

Psalm 139:13
Photo by friend Justin Foltz
Used with permission.

One of my dear friends and prayer partners who is working as a Bible translator in Asia mailed a special book to me for the holidays.  I just received it yesterday.  The book is entitled Whispers of His Word: Encountering Jesus.  It is a journal with brief verses and writing prompts to focus us in on the heart of God.

Last night I read the introduction and turned to the first entry page.  There I found Psalm 139:13.

For You created my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother's womb.

The prayer prompt begins by addressing our Lord as the creative, loving father who crafted us in our mother's womb and knew every fiber of our being before we even took our first breath beginning a journey of self-discovery that lasts throughout our lives.  Daddy, Papa, Abba, You made me so wonderful.  Why?

The lines in the journal remained blank as I simply breathed deeply and asked the Holy Spirit to come and touch me:   

Come, Sophia, Creative Energy, Dancing Child.  
Come, draw near and whisper in my ear.  
Come, draw close, and fill me with Your presence.  
Come, and let me draw near to You.

A Cry for Justice, Mercy & Steadfast Love

God,
Why do You allow the torture, abuse, rape and disposal of Your children?!  Why are Your poor creatures going through the same without a voice?! What were You thinking when You put humans in charge?  We have ruined Your good creation while You keep Yourself at a distance remaining safe and untouched.

Where are You?!

Why don't You intervene?  Will You look upon the plight of the poor, the child, the victim, the animal and take notice of them?  Or will You ignore our cries for yet another generation?

Rouse Yourself!  Wake up!  Turn and see and hear!  Come to rescue us from one another!  Come and rescue us from ourselves!

Searching for You outside the Church Walls

Ah, Lord,

You know my heart!  I just want to find a community that lives out Your love and proclaims freedom and peace.  After the church visit that I have recently had, my heart is saddened, but still, I continue to search for you.  Surely it shouldn't be this hard to find unharnessed love!

Why should I have to look any farther than the church that claims to be following You, Lord Jesus?  Why must I look beyond the people who claim to know You in order to find justice, peace and steadfast love?  I just don't understand.  I wish I could take people at their word, and that the one who claims to be a Christian would walk in Your way: loving You with their whole being, and loving their neighbors (with a wide definition!) as much as they love themselves.

For the Unnamed Infant

I haven't updated my prayer blog in a whole month.  I have entries written down, but not yet electronically recorded.  This morning's post is flowing spontaneously into the computer, and I ask you to join me in prayer.

One of my dear friends is serving as a missionary in an Asian province and we have received a special request to pray for a premature infant who has captured the hearts of those with whom this friend works.  The infant is, as of yet, unnamed.  The infant mortality rate is so high in this area that most infants are not named until it is evident that they will survive.  It was not all that long ago, historically speaking, that people in our country also refrained from naming their children until they had survived for several months or even the first year or two.  Living in a state of uncertainty and refraining from attachment to a child as a means of self-preservation must be devastating.  One can imagine that despair is the average feeling in such a time and place.

What do You Have in Your Hands?

The question posed by the pastor at Westminster Chapel this morning echoes through my heart.  What do we have in our hands, bodies, minds, spirits, talents and being that the Lord desires to use?  What are the limitations we impose upon ourselves?  God has gifted us with a vast array of talents and personality traits.  All of them can be used for God’s glory.  How do our perceived limitations get in the way?  Maybe we have much more to offer than we believe.  What would the Lord like to do in, with and through us?

"Working Hands" - Photo by Matthew Wynne

I wonder about these things as I prepare to lay my head against the pillow this evening.  Just a few short hours ago we found ourselves in the Fremont Abbey with the Church of the Apostles.  The speaker there reflected on Jesus’ assertions from the gospel of John. “I am the good shepherd.”  “I am the door.”  These images all give us clues as to what our Lord is like.

What then shall We say? You Alone Know, O Lord!

Beloved Jesus ~

No one in Your time, save for Mary of Bethany, seemed to understand the gravity of the time You found Yourself in during the last days of Your earthly life. How could they comprehend what they had never before seen? What could You use as an illustration of the events that were about to unfold? How could it possibly make sense, even to those who followed You so closely?

The work which our Father had given for You to accomplish was new and strange to them. The ministry You did and the love You gave was like nothing they had ever experienced, but was not without connection to the work of our Father throughout history. How could You describe what You were given to accomplish? The analogies simply fell short of the reality; and they still do today.

Ah Beloved, there is not one person who fully comprehends all that You accomplished through Your incarnation. Your birth, life, death and resurrection, although foretold in bits and pieces of vision through the prophets of old, still caught everyone by surprise when it all came to pass. No one quite understood what You were doing while they were in Your presence, but they all knew that something was different about You.

They were intrigued and excited, or perhaps a bit nervous and skeptical. But mostly the people around You were simply hungry for truth, love and freedom. They were feeling abandoned or neglected and trapped in oppressive circumstances. Most of all, they were lacking hope.

Likewise, we who are entering ministry today find ourselves surrounded by people in similar circumstances. The people we are called to work with, to tend to, and to feed, are Your peoples who have lost sight of Your direction or have not yet been introduced to Your freedom and love. We are called to search for those who are wandering far from the way that leads to life. We are called to bring light to a darkened world and hope to those who are filled with dread at the thoughts of the future. We are called to bring healing and a message of Your reconciliation to a world filled with war, violence and bloodshed. You have given us to be healing balm to a wounded, suffering world.



"Life in the Midst of Death" - Photo by Trista Wynne

 How then shall we speak to them, Beloved? What then shall we say? How will our pathways be like, and unlike, Yours? Oh Lord, You alone know!

As we prepare to enter our calling more deeply, may we be humble and willing to accept correction when the Spirit deems it necessary, and resilient enough to let unwarranted criticism roll of our backs. May we be soft enough to be approachable, and strong enough to stand firm when You call us to, O Lord. May Your Sophia-Spirit breathe wisdom into us so that we can respond gently and peaceably in all the times and spaces where such responses are needed. May all that we are, and all that we do, be for Your glory, Beloved; may the world come to know the Father who sent us in the first place, in Your name, amen.

Your Steadfast Love Endures Forever: A Prayer of Confession & Remembrance

"A Love Note" - Photo by Trista Wynne

As I study the tenants of Islam this week, and continue my examination of ethics and reflection on Your Word, dear Lord, I am reminded of how great Your endless, steadfast love is towards all peoples, and I am so very grateful that because of Jesus, I, and all peoples, can call You Papa!

Thank You for my nephew's safe return home! Thank You for all of Your traveling mercies and protection, love and provision and all that You have been doing about which we have no idea. Thank You for Your hands of grace all over our lives and for the Presence of Your Spirit. Thank You, Lord, for shaping our lives in ways that we wouldn't ever have had the capacity to imagine. I trust that the closing doors around me are guiding me closer to a path that is for Your glory. Thank You for the encouragement that this trust brings, and for the gift of Your Spirit who enables us to trust You.

Thank You for Your faithfulness to our relationship; even when I falter or turn away, still You call to me. You are indeed the One who calls me “beloved” even though You are Lover of all. You are as committed to the murderer as to the mystic, as compassionate to the oppressor as to the oppressed, as passionate for the drug dealer as for the devout. Your ways are far above me, Lord, Your steadfast, all-encompassing love is beyond compare! Surely there is none like You, o Lord, Beloved who created all things! You are the God Most High & Holy who also chose to enter into the world encompassed in flesh, infusing every fiber of that human body with Your presence. Through the actions of being born, living, walking, teaching, healing, working, touching, dying, being buried and rising up again on the third day, and then appearing to many people before returning to Your throne above all which You had made, You, o Lord, have given the greatest revelation of Yourself as the Great Lover. You promised to send another part of Yourself, Your very Breath, the Spirit of Life, Wisdom and Truth who has come to dwell within Your many peoples, continuing the work of drawing all of creation back into relationship with You, even to this very day. You are the Most Devoted of all lovers, Beloved! How marvelous You are in all of Your works!

Oh how we love to speak of love; how often we speak of romance! But far beyond all human endeavors, Your passion surpasses us all! Of, if we only would all be filled to the point of overflowing with Your steadfast love, Beloved! Such peace and self-less giving would be found throughout the world! I long for healing and harmony for all living things and for all of creation and humanity to be restored. Until that day, I will hope in You, Beloved, and I will teach others to do the same, in Jesus’ name, through the Holy Spirit, amen.

Welcome Home: On the Communion of Saints Past and Present

“Welcome home!” This was the greeting I received from one of the beloved elder women at St Thomas’ Episcopal this morning as we gathered for the mid-week Eucharist. I was deeply moved in my spirit by the heart-felt greeting and warm embrace of the wonderful woman in red. “Where have you been?!” she exclaimed, “we’ve missed you!”

What a greeting that was! Having been absent for two weeks on account of a disabled vehicle, I was quickly swept into open arms after open arms and greeted with prayers and blessings for peace. Part of that is incorporated into the service in the passing of the peace, but the emotion behind these greetings was far more than I had anticipated, and I was overwhelmed by the hospitality of this simple community gathering. One might have thought that I had been out of their midst for several months.

Oh Lord, what a blessing these people are to me! What a compassionate, prayerful, loving community you have placed nearby! How open and inclusive they are!

Ah, Beloved, they reflect Your light into the world and they bring out the God-flavors in me. O Sophia-Spirit, thank You for breathing into them. Through this mid-week Eucharist gathering, I am reminded of Your love.

"Papa's Love" - Photo by Trista Wynne

Thank You, Papa, also for my dear professor at Fuller, who that same evening, paused from his work to listen to my concerns regarding direction and call, and who approached Your throne of grace together with me. Bless this wonderful, dedicated, compassionate being with even more wisdom, grace and compassion than this one already has, and help them to accomplish all of the tasks they have before them. May they be filled with assurance and peace as the term continues to rush forward.

Thank You, Lord. Thank You for the joyful smiles and laughter and snuggles of the little child I was able to be with, who joined You in the realm of eternity six years ago today. All of us who are left surely do miss him, and wish we could see him growing up, but for whatever reason, this will not happen here on the earth…

I think of the welcome that I received from the blessed woman this morning, and the grace, peace and compassion extended to me by my professor this evening, and I know that You have been working through them all. If I can feel Your presence so strongly through others here, I wonder how awesome it must have been for that dear child to come into the fullness of Your presence. “Welcome home!” that dear one must have heard, “we’ve missed you!” What warmth and grace and love must emanate from You for that little one!

If we who remain here have such strong feelings of love and longing, how much greater must Your desires be for those who do not allow You to embrace them! Oh Lord, You must be so anguished by so many people. I pray deeply for their restoration into Your presence so they might feel Your love! I know that You reveal Yourself in many ways to many different people groups in a variety of cultures, and I know that You uniquely revealed Your relationship to us as Papa-God through Your Beloved Christ, and that Your Sophia-Spirit is dancing among us even now to make this revelation clear. There are many, even in the churches that bear Your name, who do not understand what this relationship means for us, nor for the world around us. Oh, Beloved, let us hear Your heartbeat tonight. Let us climb up and snuggle You, and allow ourselves to be snuggled! Help us all to rest well in Jesus’ name, amen.

On a Hardening Heart: Pondering a Change of Direction

Dear Lord,

My heart is growing more rigid today. Is this of You, in preparation for separation or transition, or do I need to address something? If I am growing more rigid in a way that is not of You, I pray for a softening of heart and new visioning for the future.

I release all that I am and all that I have and all that I am doing into your care, admitting once more that it was never really mine to begin with. Only let me live to Your glory.

Ah, Lord, is this where You want me to be? Does it allow me to be doing what You would want me to be doing? What have I chosen a paper on a topic that would cause me such grief?!

I think that it’s because I know that it breaks Your heart like it breaks mine. And You, as the Beloved of all people who calls even simple folk like me in the darkest parts of the night to come hear Your heartbeat, You speak to my heart concerning the depth of Your passions, and I often cry Your tears.

Your peoples are crying for justice; O Lord, I hear them! Your peoples are crying for mercy; O Lord, I join in their plea! Your peoples are crying for Your Kingdom; O Lord, let Your Kingdom shine!

Papa, our Papa-God,
who hears our cries in heaven,
may Your Kingdom come
     be evident here and now
     and everywhere throughout the earth!

May Your name,
which is above all names
     be praised forever more!

*****

Ah, Lord, You bring me to the Lamentations of Jeremiah, and I have prayed them all as my prayer this evening on behalf of all who suffer and groan. In the midst of the suffering, several verses stand out as words of trust and hope, and I pray that I might be able to speak these words with truth and conviction. Your steadfast love endures, O Lord, and in the midst of everything, even during severe reprimand, this much remains true throughout eternity.

Teach me, Lord, and all of those who are called to minister in Your name, whatever You would like to teach us through these words of lament and hope. My spirit continues to lift this prayer and to be in dialogue with You, even as I prepare to enter my slumber. I do want to be Your servant, for You are a loving, compassionate and just Master, my Love!

On the Travels & Journeys: Pondering the Path of the Year to Come

Hello, Beloved ~


I wonder what You might ask of my husband and I this year. Where will You lead us? Who might we encounter? To whom will we bring Your good news?

"Held in the Father's Love" - Photo by Trista Wynne

I wonder how our writing will be incorporated and how our passions will shine. What might you want to do through my love for children or my husband’s musical skills? How might my joy of baking and his desire for photography come into play? To whom will You send us? For whom shall we prepare?

What colors shall I incorporate into this next painting? And how shall I continue with my schooling endeavors? What might stir up within me through my studies, my painting, my writing and my work?

How would You, O Spirit, like to move within our lives today? How about tomorrow? What about the rest of this year?

What new discoveries might be in store? How will You cultivate our talents? What would You like to give to us to grow and nurture? What shall we give back to You for reshaping? What might need destruction?

How would You like to flow through us to other people? What would you like to teach us through them? What might we discover together?

How would You like us to use our money? How shall we use our time? What would most benefit Your kingdom? Who might we work to set free?

As we prepare, Lord, to enter into the tenth year since our wedding, I wonder what this year might hold. I have more questions than answers, and the future seems far away. How might You desire to shape us, Lord? How shall we shine for You? What might You wish to say through our lives to the world?

I wonder, Beloved…

On the Presence of our Beloved in the World Today

"Sacred Embers" - Photo by Trista Wynne

Thank You, Lord, for Your love of the entire creation from beginning to end. Thank You Beloved, that You are not only my Beloved, but the Lover of all! Thank You for Your revelation throughout all of history. Thank You for Your revelation through particular prophets to Your various ethnic groups across the world.

I pray, Lord, that Your Spirit of Life would stir up among the many congregations across the world, raising up prophets from all walks of life and proclaiming through them freedom for the captives, and good news and hope to the poor, raising up the lowly and touching the outcasts and degenerates. I pray that You, Lord Christ, Beloved of all peoples, would be so very palpably present in the lives of these special ministers that their very presence in a room would send the demons packing! I pray, dear Papa, Father of all peoples from every time and place, that you would be worshipped and loved and glorified by all which You have made. I pray that we, that is to say, Your seekers and followers who hope for these things and pray together across the boundaries of time and space, might continually work for You and with You to these ends. May we be Your body of Light shining into and reviving the world.

Help us to remember, Lord, that You have not left us alone; we are not abandoned or forsaken. Your presence is here among us. Help us to live into this truth. To Your glory, amen.