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| "Sitting in the Sand" - Photo by Trista Wynne |
This weekend I will be heading to the beach for a personal retreat: just me, the waves, a little cottage and my God. The labels give you an idea of what the last few months have been like as I've donned the cap and gown of seminary studies, (wrapping up the final quarter this summer -- halfway through today) pondered the last ten years, (I've been married for a decade now) thought about whether or not to move back near or into our childhood town, been wrestling with a change of direction in my calling, figuring out how best to support aging parents, and pondering a whole host of other topics. Wondering what is in store for, I simply record a little prayer before returning to my packing. I wonder what this weekend will reveal...
Beloved,
It's been a little while since I've felt your presence in a palpable way. I see glimpses of You in the faces and actions of the dear ones at my internship site, and Your love and grace are evident in this place. And yet, it seems that You and I have been separated for a time.
Questions and chaos about the present and future seem to swirl around me. Have I gone into hiding on account of the storm? Are You in the midst of it? Have You been listening? Have I been talking to You? Have I been listening?
The winds and debris are swirling so wildly. Questions of "helpful" people wanting me to land on a direction pummel me like tsunami waves. I have enough doubts to make Your Thomas look like one who never questioned.
