Longing for Peace & Acknowlegding the War within

As we dive deeper and deeper into the reality surrounding the atrocities in Syria, I am reminded, Beloved of the sermon You prepared in my heart to share earlier this summer.  While I do not know the best ways for our country to work with the people of Syria and the leaders there who are so very destructive, I trust that You do.

While we yearn for a world in which wars, violence and oppression do not exist, we must come face-to-face with the reflection we encounter each day when we look in the mirror.  If we look deep enough, we will find that no matter how we try to portray ourselves, we all have the tendencies towards violence, bloodshed, anger and tyranny.

Oh, Beloved, have mercy.  And help us to go and do likewise.  As you said from the cross, we just have no clue what we are doing...




This sermon, "Swords into Gardening Tools: Violence, Peace & True Victory", was delivered to the people of Murray Hills Christian Church on Sunday, July 7th, 2013.  Asking the question, "what are we celebrating?" as I reflected on Independence Day, I found the Beloved leading me to the following text.

Micah 4:1-4 

In days to come

the mountain of the Lord’s house
shall be established as the highest of the mountains,
    and shall be raised up above the hills.
Peoples shall stream to it,
2     and many nations shall come and say:
“Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord,
    to the house of the God of Jacob;
that he may teach us his ways
    and that we may walk in his paths.”
For out of Zion shall go forth instruction,
    and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem.
3 He shall judge between many peoples,
    and shall arbitrate between strong nations far away;
they shall beat their swords into plowshares,
    and their spears into pruning hooks;
nation shall not lift up sword against nation,
    neither shall they learn war any more;
4 but they shall all sit under their own vines and under their own fig trees,
    and no one shall make them afraid;
    for the mouth of the Lord of hosts has spoken.

Although war with Syria may happen, and wars and oppression will likely continue around the world, we have a promise from the prophets of old that there will be a day when all wars, all violence, all oppression and all fear will come to an end.  Our propensity towards violence, within ourselves and in the ways we interact with the world, will all be healed.  All people, everywhere, will be at peace and dwell in true Shalom.  May we do all that we can to live into this reality in our homes, our schools, our churches and our larger communities until that final day comes when we forget the devastation of war.  Amen.

Tears, Fears & Pondering the big "D"

4 a.m. -- Woke up from a nightmare about my parents' death.  Tears are flowing freely...

My dream brings a number of questions to light. Like, who do you call, exactly, when your parents both have DNR wishes? Do you still call 9-1-1 and have them send the police and a coroner? Which pastor do I call? (Mine or theirs? Both?) What about their pets? Who do I call to take care of them? How do I manage the situation if I have the kiddos I nanny with me? (We all go visit them a couple times a week.) How do I contact my family members? How do you share something like that over the phone?

Who am I in this situation? Daughter? Chaplain? Will my family look to me for spiritual guidance? Will my pastoral presence matter to them? Will I be so overwhelmed with grief that I can be of no help to them? Will they resent me for that later?

I guess we all have to deal with questions like these sooner or later. Now is simply my time. I'm mentally preparing and processing in the dark of the night. Fear, I realize, has very little to do with the reality that they might pass from this life to the next at any point. The part of the dream that made it nightmarish was my anxiety about the "what next" or "what now" questions swirling about. I post because I figure that gaining some insight will help to calm those fears. Then I will feel more prepared when the time comes...

Sighing over the False Prophets

Bless the Lord, my soul,
and bless God's holy name.
Bless the Lord, my soul,
who leads me into life.

Beloved,
You do lead us into life.  You came so that we might have life and have it abundantly.  You have given us a Spirit of love that casts out fear.  You are our refuge in time of trouble and a fortress in whom we find shelter and steadfast love.

O Lord, You do not desire oppression.  Tyranny and coercion are detestable in Your sight.  When Your disciples fought among themselves about who ought to have more power and influence, you clearly stated that this power struggle has no place in Your Kingdom.   Why then, do we insist on stratifying ourselves and claiming that our caste system within the family of God has Your blessing?

A Cry for Justice, Mercy & Steadfast Love

God,
Why do You allow the torture, abuse, rape and disposal of Your children?!  Why are Your poor creatures going through the same without a voice?! What were You thinking when You put humans in charge?  We have ruined Your good creation while You keep Yourself at a distance remaining safe and untouched.

Where are You?!

Why don't You intervene?  Will You look upon the plight of the poor, the child, the victim, the animal and take notice of them?  Or will You ignore our cries for yet another generation?

Rouse Yourself!  Wake up!  Turn and see and hear!  Come to rescue us from one another!  Come and rescue us from ourselves!

A New Creation: Life, Death & Resurrection for All

Beloved,

These last few days have been filled to the brim with contemplations regarding life, death and the communion of saints.  Such contemplations and percolations have been generated by a great many things even over the last few years, to be sure.  Particularly poignant have been the experiences of loss of loved ones, the study of the Scriptures and church history, the immersion into zombie culture that my husband and I have entered in Seattle, and observations we have of the world and society around us. 

There is much confusion in our culture about what constitutes life and what death truly is.  Your word has much to add to this discussion.  I pray, Dear One, that the hope found in Your promises will be preached, and that new life will be openly received here in this place.

Preparing for New Life: Creation in Utero at Passover

Beloved,

As I read Matthew’s account of the gathering for Your final Passover meal, my dear friend is on her way to the hospital to deliver her youngest child.  My time is near.  Make the preparations.  Your words are echoed on the lips and in the keystrokes of my dear friend, the sweet mother, during the final days of her pregnancy.

A man with a water jar will meet you…tell him My time is near.  Your words flow forth just after a woman has poured out her entire life savings onto Your feet.  An alabaster jar of sweetly perfumed oil drenched Your tired feet and soothed Your aching muscles, and this dear woman freely gave her complete devotion through her kisses and tears.  She is preparing long before Your male companions, and You invite them to join in her work so that You can accomplish all that You have been given to do.

"New Life Springing Forth" - Photo by Trista Wynne

Washing, anointing, feeding, serving – these are the things that my dear friend has been doing in preparation for the new life that is coming into the world.  And now, having just spoken of Yourself as a desolate Mother Hen who laments the scattering of her chicks, You are doing the same.  As the ultimate expression of humanity, You embody masculine and feminine together unashamedly.  You, Divine Mother Jesus, are preparing for the new life that is coming.  The birthing process will be painful, and You will suffer greatly, but as You say, when the mother’s eyes behold her child, she forgets all of the pain.  She only feels love and joy.

May Your new creation come to know how very much we are all loved, O Mothering God!   May we know how much joy we bring to You!  May we all come to You for True Food and True Drink, and may we teach others to do the same, through the Holy Spirit, amen.

Hope & Healing on the Horizon: Reflecting the Day to Come in the Present Day



Blessed Creator, Lover Divine ~

Thank You for the gifts of music, rhythm, friendship, connection, creativity and ingenuity! Each of these have played significant roles throughout this weekend. The haunting melodies of the women’s choir on Friday, the heartbeat rhythm of the sacred drumming circle Saturday and the fluttering of the violin strings from the service this morning all ebb and flow together in my spirit’s inner ear. For these sounds, I am very grateful.

These last three days have filled me with joy and left me hungry for more: more music, more mystery, more marvelous connections with You, Your creation and Your peoples! Lord, in all of these things I find myself drinking deeply from Your wellspring of life and desiring more of You. What joys I discover, both inside and outside of the Church, and what a palpable sense of Your presence I feel! Where could I go where You are not present? In the adoration from a young child, in the whispering wind in the willow, in the purr of our warm kitties, You are there. In the thundering rainstorm, in the calm that follows, in the gentle caress of a passionate lover, You are there. And even in the times when we do not know, perhaps most especially in the places we least expect, You, Beloved, are there.


"A Hidden Light Bursting Forth" - Photo by Trista Wynne

 I consider the times of abandonment, where waves of loss, anger, shame or abuse overshadow the love and light that You desire to share. There are horrors in this world that we would rather not know, or see, or imagine, or remember, but even in these times and places, You are there. How You are working to heal the wounds which scar us all, we cannot always see or know, but still You are there. Why some people die and others remain, we do not always understand, but still, O Lord, You are there. And why some tyrants lead for so long or corruption seems so rampant, we cannot fathom, but even there, even in those times, You are there.

You are there, but You are not silent. You are there, but You do not remain hidden. In the midst of our deepest trials: the shaking of the earth, the desolation of Your planet, the cruel treatment of our loved ones, in these times You are actively working to plant seeds of new life. Seeds of hope begin to sprout, desire for life and peace rises, and Your Sophia-Spirit breathes afresh into all of these situations. Even now She is working to bring forth assurance that Your creation is not forsaken, but in the process of being made new. She grants us visions of justice, of mercy, of peace and provision for all through the love which finds its origins in Jesus.

In the midst of the direst of circumstances, You, O Lord, are present and working to prepare the way for Your new Day, a day we can only imagine in part. You have given us glimpses through simple and complex word-pictures granted through Your prophets old and new. Despite their words, we sometimes forget the hope of what is yet to come. We neglect to actively shape our present reality to reflect Your Kingdom on the earth. Forgive us, renew us, and grant us the courage and wisdom to fully live the lives You gave to us, and to walk in Your way of love, mercy, justice and provision for all.

Ah, Beloved, Your active and creative Sophia-Spirit became clearly evident in Biblical times. May we all learn to be receptive to Her movements today. May we become active reflections of Your new creation in the midst of our present reality. May we seek Your presence of Love and Grace and Peace and Truth wherever You may be found. And may we all come to know how intimately we are connected with one another, with Your creation, and with You through Jesus the Lover of all, amen.

Intimate Connections: Passions, Prostrations and Prayer in the midst of Lent

"Flowing Waters" - Snoqualmie Falls, March 2011 - Photo by Trista Wynne

Beloved!
How immeasurably great You are!
How precious to me
are Your whispers.

My Lord and my God,
Your presence commands attention.
How majestic
yet personable You are.

Like a passionate lover stands in the doorway
as his beloved calls to him,
so too do You pause
as we are drawing closer, just to hear my voice.

My heartbeat quickens,
my eyes grow wide,
my breath catches;
a single syllable flows from Your lips.

The sound is sheer ecstasy!

I cannot help myself;
I cry out for You.
Every fiber of my being
trembles in anticipation of our union!

How could I ever long for anything else but You?

My thirst for Your Living Spring runs so deep,
not even the seven seas could quench it.
Yet one drop from the Wellspring of Life
satiates my soul.

My hunger for Your Presence is so strong,
not even the grain to the ends of the earth will satisfy.
Yet a single crumb from the Bread of Life
makes me settle like a weaned child near their mother.

O fill me with Your Presence, Lord;
let me taste Your glory!
Bring me into Your chambers
and let me drink You in!

Not one inch of my being goes unexplored
in Your presence;
every part of me
is washed, kissed, anointed with oil.

Heady spices
fill the room;
I am like one intoxicated
with the very best of wines.

Ecstasy!
Light!
Freedom!
Joy!

If only this moment would last forever!

Alas,
I must return to my natural senses
to share what I experience
when I am with You,

for what we share
is not for us alone.
This is the intimacy You desire:
all of creation to be with You.

O that everyone could experience this love and light and freedom!

I long for the day,
Your Day,
when all of creation will know
that is has been made new.

May Your Day come quickly;
may it bring peace,
may justice, joy, security,
love and compassion be upon us all, amen.

On Freedom & Bondage

"Sacred Union" - Photo by Trista Wynne

Oh Lord, I lift up those who are in bondage, in relationships that may be unhealthy with a vicious cycle of violence or oppression! For those who are on my heart this night, I pray that You, O Lord, will rescue and set free. Rescue, O Redeemer! Save, O Savior! Heal, O Healer! Let Your Kingdom come and Your will be done here and now as it is in heaven!

O Prince of Peace, come and deliver Your peoples form the bondage of slavery and death! Remove all the burdens we heap upon ourselves and others! Cast off the shame of guilt and fear and anxiety! Let us be rid of the darkness in ourselves and in the world!

Lord, how much of the darkness that we face is residual from our own internal life-long struggle, and how much is from an unseen entity? You alone know, O Lord! Thankfully You are the One to whom everyone and everything answers and You will sort it all out in the end. For now, we wait and lament because the darkness is so strong that it threatens many lives!

I trust you, Lord. I want to trust You completely. You know what we need, what we have and what we long for. Heal and renew us all: body, mind and soul, and guard us by Your grace so we can delight in Your will and walk in Your way, in Jesus’ name, amen.

More Ponderings for the New Year

As I prepare to enter a new term at Fuller Northwest, I am instructed to reflect on the life and times of Paul through a particular text book, and in the midst of my reading, I find myself pondering the time a few years earlier, when my Lord was present on the earth.  Looking ahead to Epiphany, holding the season of Christmastide in my heart, and thinking about my own life and times, I lay my questions in the lap of my Papa-God.

Jesus, my Love, as I read about the Mediterranean world, I wonder where you found Yourself socially. Did You know what it was like to go hungry for more than a few hours while You grew up? When did Joseph die or fall out of the picture? He was a craftsman, and artist, a carpenter. Did this mean You were above the servant class and never had to worry about Your meals? Or did Your family struggle to make ends meet?  Did You watch the sparrows because Your stomach was empty or were you able to study because You didn’t have to beg for Your food?


Where did Your solidarity with the poor come from? What fueled Your compassion? Did You carry it with You from the Throne of Grace or was it fostered through experience and observation of the world around You?

Am I anything like You, Beloved? Can others see You by looking at my life? When You grew to be a man, did you intentionally choose a life of simplicity in the nomadic style? Or was it fairly common in Your time? Were people drawn to You because they could see some reflection of themselves in You, or You in themselves? How did You foster hope in those who followed You? How can I do the same? How can I become more like You?

Can I be in solidarity with the poor and still own property? If I’m called to serve the poor, is it right for me to be comfortable and well-fed? If I’m called to the “untouchables”, do I need to become an outcast myself?

Beloved, how can I become more like You?

A Little Taste of Heaven: A Thanksgiving Reflection

Photo by Matt Wynne

 Several friends have recently pointed out that I like to talk, write or post about the joy that I find in foods and beverages. Having grown up in a family without a lot of money, I find myself intensely thankful when it comes to food, and I particularly delight in rich, comforting foods that we were never able to afford when I was young. And being a poet at heart, I can savor a moment of pleasure as though it were a taste of eternity. Delectable delicacies caress the palette of my tongue, taking me to lands of fantastical ecstasy, and all the while my inner being dances like a carefree child on a warm summer’s day.


On days like today, which is Thanksgiving here in America, while I savor the sweet aromatic spices and let the plethora of pleasantries lift my heart, my child-like spirit is joined by countless others delighting in festive treats and offering thanks and praise for all of the blessings in our lives. There is much to be thankful for, particularly if you are able to read this post, for you have electricity, warm shelter, and likely some form of employment with which to pay your bills. That is more than many have on this chilly day in November!

On days like today, I am incredibly thankful for a wide variety of blessings, but I offer particularly heartfelt praise for a few that I know what it is like to be without. This year my husband and I are spending Thanksgiving at home with our two kitties. We were unable to travel to be with family due to inclement weather, but that gives us even more reason to be thankful, because we have families who long for our presence. I pray today for you who have lost loved ones, or are estranged from the ones they once had relationships with, and I pray for you who are unable to travel to your loved ones because finances and distance are too heavy a burden to bear. I pray that all who are without will know the freedom of having all your needs met. I long to see the day when every mouth will be fed, when every person will have shelter and security, when all who are oppressed will know freedom and all their tormentors will receive justice and find freedom from their inner darkness, when every person will have clothing, warmth and comfort, and every person will know in every fiber of their being how very much they are loved!

Whether that day comes while I am alive and well in this lifetime, or long after my body has returned to the earth, as a Christian I do believe that day will come. Scripture tells us through the mouths of the prophets of old, that the day will come when true justice will be seen throughout the earth, when everyone will live in peace and security, when nations will no longer wage war against one another because all of creation will be healed, and when all beings, human and animal alike, will experience harmony and will know how much they are loved. I believe we were granted a glimpse of that great and glorious eternal day when Jesus the Christ walked the face of the earth, for He showed us what it was like to feed the hungry, to heal the sick, to remove the burden of the oppressed, to do justice, to love mercy and to walk humbly with our Papa-God. Empowered by the Holy Spirit, in full communion with Papa-God, Jesus spoke parables that intend to turn the world upside down and to give us a glimpse of what heavenly justice will be like when that day fully comes. In Jesus, we received a little taste of the great feast awaiting us in the day to come.

On days like today, when wars continuously rage in many countries and others are on the brink of destruction, when tensions run high and finances of the most powerful countries are strained at best, when many families struggle to find the means by which to provide even the basic necessities of food, clothing, shelter and security, and when devastating physical ailments and mental illness afflict vast numbers while they attempt to re-establish some semblance of normalcy after traumatic disasters, on these days, I long for that feast day all the more! Even as I give thanks for the many ways in which I myself am blessed, I find that I am homesick for heaven, and so I join with countless others in the past, present and future, and pray boldly and longingly, O Lord, let Your kingdom come and Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven! Amen.