A Heavenly Chorus: Highlights of Harmony at St Thomas this Morning

The lovely priest at St Thomas invited us to commune with You as our Lover this morning during our reflection time following the homily. Ah, Beloved, You honored us all through that service! We felt a palpable Presence of Your Sophia-Spirit from that moment onward and burst into song after our Eucharistic encounter with Your Christ. The spontaneous blending of voices in perfect harmony made my every hair stand on end and shivers of sheer joy flow from the top of my head to the tips of my toes!

O Beloved! How utterly invigorating it is to be in Your Presence as part of a sacred assembly! What freedom and love flows in this community of Christ!

Thank You, Lord, for this very special community seeking Your way in the heart of Bellevue. Thank You for the gift of Your Spirit and the revelation of Yourself as Lover of All through Jesus the Christ. Truly You are the most precious of all the things we call treasures! In comparison to You, all other things are merely chaff in the wind.

We have done nothing to merit the love and adoration You lavish upon us, yet You hold nothing back! You give Yourself wholly and completely to and for us despite our forgetfulness and neglect of You. We are known to turn away, to close our eyes and ears, or even to violently oppose Your purposes and desires, yet You are constantly found singing Your sacred melody of unrequited love.

And so, today, the moment we turned toward You and entered into the communion of saints through the Eucharist, we found ourselves joining Your love song. Ah, Beloved, when we encounter You fully, we cannot hold silence! Our feet want to dance, our hands want to raise and our voices will not be hindered. Fullness of surrender, wholehearted praise, and complete adoration of You, triune God, gush forth as Your Living Fountain flows through our communal being. Whenever we are connected to You and to each other and to Your creation, truly, Beloved, You are found in that place.

May Your presence be known throughout the earth for all generations, through the Holy Spirit in Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

"Gushing Forth" - Snoqualmie Falls, March 2011 - Photo by Trista Wynne

Intimate Connections: Passions, Prostrations and Prayer in the midst of Lent

"Flowing Waters" - Snoqualmie Falls, March 2011 - Photo by Trista Wynne

Beloved!
How immeasurably great You are!
How precious to me
are Your whispers.

My Lord and my God,
Your presence commands attention.
How majestic
yet personable You are.

Like a passionate lover stands in the doorway
as his beloved calls to him,
so too do You pause
as we are drawing closer, just to hear my voice.

My heartbeat quickens,
my eyes grow wide,
my breath catches;
a single syllable flows from Your lips.

The sound is sheer ecstasy!

I cannot help myself;
I cry out for You.
Every fiber of my being
trembles in anticipation of our union!

How could I ever long for anything else but You?

My thirst for Your Living Spring runs so deep,
not even the seven seas could quench it.
Yet one drop from the Wellspring of Life
satiates my soul.

My hunger for Your Presence is so strong,
not even the grain to the ends of the earth will satisfy.
Yet a single crumb from the Bread of Life
makes me settle like a weaned child near their mother.

O fill me with Your Presence, Lord;
let me taste Your glory!
Bring me into Your chambers
and let me drink You in!

Not one inch of my being goes unexplored
in Your presence;
every part of me
is washed, kissed, anointed with oil.

Heady spices
fill the room;
I am like one intoxicated
with the very best of wines.

Ecstasy!
Light!
Freedom!
Joy!

If only this moment would last forever!

Alas,
I must return to my natural senses
to share what I experience
when I am with You,

for what we share
is not for us alone.
This is the intimacy You desire:
all of creation to be with You.

O that everyone could experience this love and light and freedom!

I long for the day,
Your Day,
when all of creation will know
that is has been made new.

May Your Day come quickly;
may it bring peace,
may justice, joy, security,
love and compassion be upon us all, amen.

The Kingdom, Clay & Embryos in the Womb: Reflecting on Change & Shaping of the Future

Beloved,

Transitions are difficult and hard on the heart even when we know the decisions are right. With Frankincense shifting to an “unplugged” version of meeting with lower frequency, the majority of our Sunday evenings will open up but it means we must say farewell to the way things have been. Maybe this will enable me to do the missiological work which You have been fairly clearly prompting me to do since You have been developing in me a heart for the un-churched. Maybe You have something completely different in store for us all than we had envisioned for ourselves. Maybe this is true for more than simply the place in which we worship; maybe it is true of our lives as well.

In a sermon given last week by our dear friend and pastor in Beaverton, the image of being a lump of clay was lifted up as one of the most difficult yet necessary ways in which we as human beings are referenced in the Bible. We, as he said, have a hard time accepting this reality, for we are indoctrinated by our culture to believe that we do (or should) control our own movements and shaping. Simply laying in Your hands and allowing You to mold us into something new is counter-intuitive to us once we emerge from the womb.

"In the Potter's Hands" - Photo by Trista Wynne

No wonder You said we must be born anew to enter the Kingdom! And no wonder Lady Julian saw all of creation as encompassed in Your Divine womb! We must return to a place of complete connection with You so that we can be birthed into a new life of trust, freedom and abundance. As long as we are trying to shape ourselves, we are not relying on You, and so we are not able to reach our full potential because only You know what fullness of life really means.

I know, Beloved, many who read the rest of this prayer will have difficulty joining me in this exercise of trust since the earthquakes in Japan and the Tsunamis that followed are still so fresh in our minds. News of wars, famines and pestilence floods our minds when we turn on our electronics, and we find ourselves battling depression, anxiety and all sorts of disharmony. But in a world of tension and fear, where chaos and disturbance threaten the shalom You so deeply desire, I feel You calling me, and calling the world, to seek comfort in You. Although there are forces acting in opposition to Your desires for peace, health and wholeness, whenever Your messengers of truth come into the world, their greeting is always “fear not”. May we all learn to live in fullness of trust that in the end You will make everything right.

And so, dear Potter, desiring to trust You more and desiring to enter the fullness of the Kingdom while becoming more fully present here on the earth, I simply lay down my expectations of myself, of my future, of my relationships, of my worshipping community, and of the world around me. May I, and all that I carry, be as clay in Your hands or as an embryo in Your uterus. Let it all take shape as You so desire. Through the Holy Spirit, in Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

Battling the Beloved: How my Heart is won back when I Turn Away

Hello Beloved,

Much is on my mind, not for worries, but mostly for contemplation. At the forefront, though, is the sermon preached by our dear friend and pastor in Beaverton, where we found ourselves beginning Spring Break this weekend. The sermon on trust, the songs about being clay in Your hands, and their combined calling to release ourselves into Your arms for Your purposes – these are the images on my mind this evening.

Towards the beginning of the service, when the song entitled “The Potter’s Hand” was being sung, I found myself unable to join in the singing. This was odd since it is a favorite song of mine, but my spirit was heavy and I was grieved over the lack of connections and deep friendships in our lives since we followed Your call to move up here to the Seattle area. I didn’t feel particularly willing to become just anything or anyone at that moment in time. You know, Beloved, how I sometimes battle with You in spirit. Thankfully, Your Spirit is kind and compassionate, and gently worked throughout the rest of the service to remind me how much I am valued and loved even by that dear community which is several hours away from us.

"Softness of the Beloved" - Photo by Trista Wynne

The prayers of the people, the sermon, the strong embrace of our dearly loved minister of music, and lengthy hugs from the children (now teenagers) whom I used to nanny for – these all worked together to soften my heart. By the time we were invited to Your table, I was able to let go of the false pretense of control over my life. I simply acknowledge that in this part of the journey, my life and the life of my husband are truly in Your hands. I want to trust You; Lord, please help my lack of trust.

The Way of the Beloved: Journeying through Lent - 1st Sunday 2011

Tonight at Frankincense we read from Genesis, the story of the time when humanity chose a way that was different from the path You laid out. An alternate ending was presented from Rabbi Kushner, one in which there was no decision to turn away. There was simply Eden.

In his alternate ending, there was no extreme sorrow, but pleasure was also lacking. With every need met and no experience of pain or suffering, I wonder if we would ever have grown to love You. Would we have grown to love one another? Would we love ourselves?

What would this life look like if there was no sin or separation or hiding between us? Or are any of these things actually here now? Sin is supposedly the separation from You, but Beloved, is there a place in existence where You are not? The psalmist would contend, and the prophets agree, that such a place does not exist. So what then is sin? Julian says it is of no substance at all. If separation is the definition, then I think she is right, for wherever we travel, You, Beloved, are with us.

"Lenten Feet" - Photo by Trista Wynne

This brings me back to the Genesis passage. What really happened there? Where, if anywhere, did You go when the woman was speaking with the serpent? Were You hidden from sight? Why would You hide when their biggest decision ever was being made?

But this apparent absence is what Lent is about, then, isn’t it? We remember Jesus’ struggle and painful wandering out in the desert during a time of utmost importance in His earthly ministry. In that time were You hidden? The text is silent on the subject, saying neither that You were there, nor that you were absent beyond the physical presence of Christ. We get no clear indication that there was a separation of Your communal nature until the agonizing cry from the cross. But even there, was it separation or perception? Are we simply blinded to Your presence at times? How is it that we can feel so far away from You even when we are found in Your very womb, Dear Mother?

These things are too wonderful for me, Beloved! Still, on account of our intimacy, I am free to ask the questions that burn in my heart this night. What happened in Eden? What happened in the desert? What happened at the cross? What is this road about which we are walking along together? Where might it lead, and is the end really the beginning? How can we be coming back to You, as some theologians might say, if You have never really left us in the first place? Surely You are not far from us, Beloved! Surely we are always near to Your heart, O God!

Perhaps more questions will arise, Dear One, as we continue this Lenten journey together. For now, however, I’m glad to have the freedom to bring my questions to You as I prepare to slumber. I pray that I might be tucked into the fold of Your garment and that I might come closer to hearing and echoing Your heartbeat, Beloved. Oh let us be one as I enter my sleep, amen.

The Divine Feminine

In a way unlike any time prior, I am finding myself noticing the imagery of the feminine in Scripture in intimate detail.  The nourishing actions of a breast-feeding mother, the gentle flutter of a mother hen's wing, the protective shelter of the muscular womb, the intimate passions of the feminine belly -- all of these womanly wonders are attributed to You and to Your prophets across the span of time and space.  How intricately woven is the female body!  How intimately connected to You!

"Tender Strength" - Photo by Trista Wynne

Precious Spirit, You are in the midst of enriching my reading of Your Word and deepening my love for You at every juncture.  The tender caress of the flowers in bloom remind me of Your Feminine Presence.  I am delicate and strong, just like You.  Oh Sophia, Precious Mother, Passionate Lover and Companion of all, thank You.  I am deeply grateful for Your presence, and I await Your timing in the blossoming of my own internal flower as the earth now waits for spring.

The Family Crest: A Reflection on Ash Wednesday

What if our crosses were always visible? No, I’m not talking about the gold-plated ones we chain around our necks after shelling out a bunch of cash! I’m talking about the ones on our foreheads, the ones that the minister signs us with when we are baptized. What if every day was Ash Wednesday and everybody could see the mark of Christ on us all the time? How would that change us? How would our relationships change? How would the perceptions that others have of us be impacted?

"The Family Crest" - Photo by Trista Wynne

Lord, I wonder about Your people – those who go by Your name in this area tend to blend in. We don’t let Your mark be shown except on merchandise. We buy crafts and jewelry and t-shirts and mugs with Your Family Crest, but we neglect the deeper call to reflect the Family Name through our actions and lifestyle.

It seems that we are about as loyal to You as to any brand name or sports team. We can become as defensive regarding creed and liturgy as devoted sports fans or apple users are when their team or product is challenged. And yet, sadly, that defense is about as deep as the devotion goes.

How ecstatic sports fans get if they come face to face with the players they obsess over! Will the same be true of Your peoples? Is it true today?

If we truly are followers of Your Way, Beloved, and we believe Your Word, then we will see Your reflection in every person, animal and plant throughout the world. And if that is true then we encounter You every day. Can we say that we are devoted to You and yet neglect or reject our fellow human beings, our fellow animals, or the rest of creation? How utterly absurd!

So, Beloved, what would life be like if Your Family Crest was visible on our foreheads? At the very least we would be known as ambassadors in Your world, for good or for ill. But, if we instead are in deep enough relationship with You to take devotion beyond the superficial, then we will allow our lives to be molded into the perfect reflection of Your love, and that is how Your Family crest – the cross – would become visible in the world.

Ah, Beloved, let it be so! May our Family be known for the thoughts, words and actions which reflect Your great love for the entire creation: people, animals, earth and plants alike. Mold and shape us into Your image once again. May all things be found dripping Your glory and bearing Your Family Crest, through the Holy Spirit, in Jesus’ name, amen.