Beloved,
Watching someone you love slowly fading away is very difficult...
The intense tumult of emotion resting just beneath the surface is something I
fear few would want to endure. I don't even want to endure it myself. But if I
don't say that I'm hurting, I am attempting to deceive myself and You, and
failing miserably at both.
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| "Incoming Storm" - Photo by Trista Wynne |
A storm is brewing! Lightning! Thunder! Waves
crashing overhead! The boat is sinking! Everybody out!
With one last breath I
cry: “I am strong! This will not take me! I will not sink quietly into the
deep!”
Beloved,
You have strengthened me through all kinds of troubles. Even with my strength, however,
I needn't carry my burden on my own. I’m very good at helping to shoulder
others’ pain. Less so at allowing them to reciprocate or trusting that they
will.
*sigh*
I
don’t know exactly what I need from You, nor what I need from others – a simple
hand to hold, perhaps, or a cup of cider and a warm blanket to curl up with?
Maybe a love note, or some music or a poem would help.
A
ray of sunshine, the flutter of a bird’s wings, the purr of a kitty, the stroke
of my husband’s hand upon my cheek – these are ways that You draw near. And somehow,
in these simple gestures, the chaos is calmed, the storm withdraws, and I am
free to rest in Your arms again.
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| "The Storm Passes" - Photo by Trista Wynne |
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