Thursday, October 25, 2012

Ebb & Flow: The Rise and Fall of the Stormy Sea


Beloved, 

Watching someone you love slowly fading away is very difficult... 

The intense tumult of emotion resting just beneath the surface is something I fear few would want to endure. I don't even want to endure it myself. But if I don't say that I'm hurting, I am attempting to deceive myself and You, and failing miserably at both. 

"Incoming Storm" - Photo by Trista Wynne

A storm is brewing! Lightning! Thunder! Waves crashing overhead! The boat is sinking! Everybody out! 

With one last breath I cry: “I am strong! This will not take me! I will not sink quietly into the deep!”

Beloved, You have strengthened me through all kinds of troubles. Even with my strength, however, I needn't carry my burden on my own. I’m very good at helping to shoulder others’ pain. Less so at allowing them to reciprocate or trusting that they will.

*sigh*

I don’t know exactly what I need from You, nor what I need from others – a simple hand to hold, perhaps, or a cup of cider and a warm blanket to curl up with? Maybe a love note, or some music or a poem would help.

A ray of sunshine, the flutter of a bird’s wings, the purr of a kitty, the stroke of my husband’s hand upon my cheek – these are ways that You draw near. And somehow, in these simple gestures, the chaos is calmed, the storm withdraws, and I am free to rest in Your arms again.

"The Storm Passes" - Photo by Trista Wynne

No comments: