Longing for Peace & Acknowlegding the War within

As we dive deeper and deeper into the reality surrounding the atrocities in Syria, I am reminded, Beloved of the sermon You prepared in my heart to share earlier this summer.  While I do not know the best ways for our country to work with the people of Syria and the leaders there who are so very destructive, I trust that You do.

While we yearn for a world in which wars, violence and oppression do not exist, we must come face-to-face with the reflection we encounter each day when we look in the mirror.  If we look deep enough, we will find that no matter how we try to portray ourselves, we all have the tendencies towards violence, bloodshed, anger and tyranny.

Oh, Beloved, have mercy.  And help us to go and do likewise.  As you said from the cross, we just have no clue what we are doing...




This sermon, "Swords into Gardening Tools: Violence, Peace & True Victory", was delivered to the people of Murray Hills Christian Church on Sunday, July 7th, 2013.  Asking the question, "what are we celebrating?" as I reflected on Independence Day, I found the Beloved leading me to the following text.

Micah 4:1-4 

In days to come

the mountain of the Lord’s house
shall be established as the highest of the mountains,
    and shall be raised up above the hills.
Peoples shall stream to it,
2     and many nations shall come and say:
“Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord,
    to the house of the God of Jacob;
that he may teach us his ways
    and that we may walk in his paths.”
For out of Zion shall go forth instruction,
    and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem.
3 He shall judge between many peoples,
    and shall arbitrate between strong nations far away;
they shall beat their swords into plowshares,
    and their spears into pruning hooks;
nation shall not lift up sword against nation,
    neither shall they learn war any more;
4 but they shall all sit under their own vines and under their own fig trees,
    and no one shall make them afraid;
    for the mouth of the Lord of hosts has spoken.

Although war with Syria may happen, and wars and oppression will likely continue around the world, we have a promise from the prophets of old that there will be a day when all wars, all violence, all oppression and all fear will come to an end.  Our propensity towards violence, within ourselves and in the ways we interact with the world, will all be healed.  All people, everywhere, will be at peace and dwell in true Shalom.  May we do all that we can to live into this reality in our homes, our schools, our churches and our larger communities until that final day comes when we forget the devastation of war.  Amen.

Fire, Ashes, Prayer & Healing on Ash Wednesday

Today I had a different experience with the imposition of ashes than I have for several years.  The words spoken with the ashes were not of mortality and returning to the earth.  Instead, as the sign of the cross was drawn upon me, these words were spoken:  "Hear the Gospel and believe."

Photo by Trista Wynne

The Gospel -- the Good News, dear ones, is that we will not be separated for long by the chasm of death.  We will all be together once more on account of the birth, life, death and resurrection of our Beloved, the Christ.  The Good News, dear ones, is that the whole world, which now aches and groans in pain and brokenness, will be filled with peace, love, new life and wholeness.  There will be no more death, no more tears, no more suffering, no more pain.  Each person will live in comfort and no one shall make anyone afraid, for all needs everywhere will be satisfied.

This evening, during our Ash Wednesday service, we received small pieces of paper at the door when we entered the sanctuary.  After a reading from Isaiah and the pastoral meditation, we wrote down our transgressions, our fears, our strife, our pain, our laments and our hopes, our dreams and joys.  As we gathered to receive communion, we laid our written burdens down in a bowl at the base of the cross.  With empty hands now, we received the bread and wine with which we remember our Beloved Christ, then we received the imposition of the ashes upon our foreheads.

Returning to our seats for a time of reflective prayer and penitence, we prayed for one another, for ourselves, and for God's creation.  We offered our confessions and prayed for healing from all sin.  The papers which we had brought to the front were soaked in oil and were then lit on fire.  

Photo by Trista Wynne - @ Murrayhills Christian Church

A great and glorious flame consumed our fears, our sin, our hopes and all which we had confessed.  That burning bowl of confessions put off quite a bit of heat as we prayed!

Photo by Trista Wynne - @ Murrayhills Christian Church

Searching for My Reflection in Your Eyes

Earlier today I spent a good deal of time with dear friends from college.  Our conversations were incredibly fruitful!  Among other very important things, we wondered together about the origins of my numerous food sensitivities.

My soul-sister wonders how many of my food issues may be a way of my body punishing itself for not living up to certain expectations, (both perceived and real).  Although there have been a number of benefits to changing my diet (including increasing the amount of natural and whole foods in my system) there are enough foods that cause my body trauma for us to wonder if there is an emotional link.

How many of my recent ailments have something to do with shame or guilt?  I'm not yet sure how to identify and/or combat it if there is that link.  But it does inspire a prayer...

Beloved,

I have a great deal yet to learn about myself.  I have much to learn about (and much to experience of) Your love.  I desire to see You looking at me.  I want to watch Your eyes as I take of my clothing and let You look at me.  I want to feel the heat of passion and compassion as You draw near, as you caress and as You love me.

Photo by Trista Wynne

No one and nothing else can fill this desire.  It is for You alone.  You are my Beloved.

Yesterday, through conversations with another prayer-sister, You helped me to see how guilty or ashamed I feel for "not measuring up".  Right now I feel completely inadequate -- as a wife, as a daughter, as a lover, as a friend, as a minister, as a spiritual leader and as a nanny.  Overall, as a person, I feel that I have failed.

You alone can make me whole. I'm looking for my reflection in Your eyes.

I feel guilty for having been born into a society that oppresses and enslaves other nations to do our bidding.  I feel guilty for living when my food, electronics and clothing are grown or created with the spilled blood of my fellow human beings.  The problems, the sin, is societal.  I feel powerless to stop it...

You alone cane make the world whole.  Help us see our reflection in Your eyes.

Amen.

Church: Branches, Zombies, Fire & Life

Beloved,

My allegiance is to You above all.  I trust that You are in Your Church, no matter how divided it may seem.  I wish, Lord, that denominational (and non-denominational) branches would not exclude one another, but would have more interaction.  Each individual congregation strives for their own vision, their own purpose, and their own future.  Do they not realize that we are all one in You?

"Thirsty Tree" - Photo by Trista Wynne

This pointless striving against one another, whether overtly or in undercurrents, has sadly been our legacy from the beginning.

Oh Children, Let us Remember Who we Are!

Dear Papa ~

I’m so blessed and thankful that You call us children! Lord, I wish that all peoples knew the joy and peace that comes from experiencing this intimate relationship with You. Thank you for this revelation concerning Yourself long before anyone could really understand the implications this would have on prayer, worship and our interactions with one another. Thank you for embracing us all: each tribe and each person throughout the earth, throughout the time-space continuum.

Photo by my friend, Grete Norquist

You loved us long before we even knew what love was, and You have shown us how to love by entering into Your creation, embodied in an infant who became vulnerable in our arms. You became Love Incarnate and then all of creation began to remember the love song You had crafted for us in the beginning, before our separation took place. Little by little, through the life, speech, actions, death, burial and resurrection of Jesus, You reminded us that we are beloved and blessed in Your eyes.

Through a few notes here and a rest or two there, bit by bit we began to hear Your melody once again. Through Your Incarnation, You reminded us how to sing, and then, so that we never again would forget, You breathed Your creative Sophia-Spirit, sending Her throughout all of creation. She has swept over the face of the earth, swirled through the stars, and even beyond the edges of the galaxy, so that all of creation might declare Your praises, day and night, for all of eternity. Even now, She continues to infuse Your peoples with Your very Presence, breathing new life into and through us, granting us the courage we need to dance to Your song and to join in harmony as those who are beloved in Jesus the Christ.

May we wing and dance and re-create here on the earth for Your glory, O Blessed Lord, our Beloved Papa, who calls us Your own, forever and ever, amen.

Your Steadfast Love Endures Forever: A Prayer of Confession & Remembrance

"A Love Note" - Photo by Trista Wynne

As I study the tenants of Islam this week, and continue my examination of ethics and reflection on Your Word, dear Lord, I am reminded of how great Your endless, steadfast love is towards all peoples, and I am so very grateful that because of Jesus, I, and all peoples, can call You Papa!

Thank You for my nephew's safe return home! Thank You for all of Your traveling mercies and protection, love and provision and all that You have been doing about which we have no idea. Thank You for Your hands of grace all over our lives and for the Presence of Your Spirit. Thank You, Lord, for shaping our lives in ways that we wouldn't ever have had the capacity to imagine. I trust that the closing doors around me are guiding me closer to a path that is for Your glory. Thank You for the encouragement that this trust brings, and for the gift of Your Spirit who enables us to trust You.

Thank You for Your faithfulness to our relationship; even when I falter or turn away, still You call to me. You are indeed the One who calls me “beloved” even though You are Lover of all. You are as committed to the murderer as to the mystic, as compassionate to the oppressor as to the oppressed, as passionate for the drug dealer as for the devout. Your ways are far above me, Lord, Your steadfast, all-encompassing love is beyond compare! Surely there is none like You, o Lord, Beloved who created all things! You are the God Most High & Holy who also chose to enter into the world encompassed in flesh, infusing every fiber of that human body with Your presence. Through the actions of being born, living, walking, teaching, healing, working, touching, dying, being buried and rising up again on the third day, and then appearing to many people before returning to Your throne above all which You had made, You, o Lord, have given the greatest revelation of Yourself as the Great Lover. You promised to send another part of Yourself, Your very Breath, the Spirit of Life, Wisdom and Truth who has come to dwell within Your many peoples, continuing the work of drawing all of creation back into relationship with You, even to this very day. You are the Most Devoted of all lovers, Beloved! How marvelous You are in all of Your works!

Oh how we love to speak of love; how often we speak of romance! But far beyond all human endeavors, Your passion surpasses us all! Of, if we only would all be filled to the point of overflowing with Your steadfast love, Beloved! Such peace and self-less giving would be found throughout the world! I long for healing and harmony for all living things and for all of creation and humanity to be restored. Until that day, I will hope in You, Beloved, and I will teach others to do the same, in Jesus’ name, through the Holy Spirit, amen.

On Christianity, Poverty & Wealth

While sitting at a coffee shop in an affluent area, I found my spirit grating within me. I had just been riding the public transit, praying for and talking to my fellow riders, and have been recently having my eyes opened to many of the reasons for poverty throughout the world. When I overheard conversation regarding vacation homes, new businesses and how much little dog’s outfits cost, I thought I might scream. Instead I brought out my pen and let my spirit connect with the Spirit of Grace and Truth.

*****

Ah, Lord, I wonder what I am doing here! I am deeply passionate about things that many of these people just let pass them by. Lord, what would You like to come forth out of this? I definitely hold the issues of Christianity, Poverty and Wealth close to my heart, but I do not yet know what to do about the issues I am learning about.

Lord, let my mind, heart, body and passions be fertile ground for Your Spirit’s seed. May the pathos and teachings of Jesus till the soil and nourish the tree of life taking root, and may the harvest be full, abundant and for Your glory. Please grant me courage and wisdom and inspiration to speak, act and write in ways that would grow Your Kingdom. Is there someone here You would like me to talk to today, or maybe to learn from them, or maybe simply to overcome my own prejudices?

Father, forgive me for just looking at the surface instead of the poverty within the conversation around me. Please help me to see people as You see them. Lord Jesus, You looked at the rich man with pity, mercy and compassion; help me to do the same. Spirit of Peace, infuse my inner being with Your grace and add an extra dose of love.

Perhaps the way to minister to the world at large is to soften the hearts of the rich towards the poor and likewise to do the same with the poor towards the rich. We are at such odds with one another and filled with such animosity, one toward another, that no compassion is shown.

I wonder what the churches around these areas, and others like them, teach about money. Lord, please let Your truth be known! Help the rich and poor to dialogue together. Help us to listen to one another in compassion and love.

What do You say, Lord? What would an ideal economic structure look like and how could we go about fostering such a system within our communities? I trust that Your Spirit will flow through my studies and dialogues to help me reflect Christ in my paper on this topic, but also in my life, teaching, writing, prayers, reflections, worship leadership, art, song and dance.

Oh Jesus, Beloved, when You walked the earth in the flesh, how did You feel towards Rome? I sometimes focus on the poor and other underdogs in Your life and forget that You also walked and talked and ate with powerful tax collectors, rich teachers and influential leaders in Your time. Always You did so to mend the broken stratification system. Always You taught those who thought they had power that the powerless were worthwhile and on the same level as them. Lord, teach me. Help me to see all people as equal. I do not want to stratify anymore. I want to break free from the system I was born into and to experience the freedom that comes from never seeing anyone as less than myself, and never seeing myself as anything less than Your Beloved. You are the Lover of all.

I want to see the world through Your eyes, to experience the love and compassion that You felt, and to shine as brightly as You shone. In order to fulfill this desire, which has been placed on my heart by Your own Spirit, I must be filled with You. And in order to be filled with You, I must be emptied of my prejudices, my judgments and my own sense of shame and guilt. O Lord, have mercy!

Enlighten my eyes from the inside out. I suspect that You are already living in every person in the world but are seen most clearly shining through the lens of community. Help my vision to be enlightened and healed by You. Here I am, Lord! Let me see with Your eyes, hear with Your ears, and to taste, smell and touch Your way as I walk throughout this world, amen.

What do They Taste in You? A Contemplation on Fruitfulness in the Kingdom

"A Fruitful Fall Altar" - photo by TristaWynne

In Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation, Parker Palmer writes,

Burnout is a state of emptiness, to be sure, but it does not result from giving all I have: it merely reveals the nothingness from which I was trying to give in the first place… When the gift I give is integral to my own nature, when it comes from a place of organic reality within me, it will renew itself – and me – even as I give it away. Only when I give something that does not grow within me do I deplete myself and harm others as well, for only harm can come from a gift that is forced, inorganic, unreal (pp. 49-50).

This quote, indeed a large portion of Palmer’s book, makes me think of our churches today, and leads me to contemplate my own life as well. I wonder how different the world might be if we each were taught to become ourselves rather than trying to become someone or something else. Life is not one-size-fits-all, and neither are our worshipping communities. We are created with unique talents, abilities, passions, hopes, dreams and desires. What would the world look like if we all encouraged each other to become the beautiful ones God has created each of us to be rather than pushing our own agendas on one other? What would our congregations look like? How would our relationships at home be different? What about our relationship within our own skin?

Sometimes I find my mind, emotions and body all telling me different things, for they all seem to be seeking after someone else’s dream of who or what I am to become, or what I am to do. In the stillness of the night however, often about four o’clock in the morning when the city around me is quiet, I’m awakened in the darkest hour; in those moments I discern the calling of the One who created me, and I have peace. This One does not ask me to do anything or to go anywhere, but simply to be. Connected: that is what I am called to be.

Jesus, my Lord, says,

I am the vine, you are the branches.
Those who abide in me will bear much fruit to the glory of my Father in heaven.
Abide in my love.

When I am striving to do things through my own strength, or trying to fill a need simply because it is there, I am not being faithful to this call to abide in my Lord’s love. I find myself in a place of emptiness because I was not rooted in the simple call to be still and know that I am God. When I take time to listen, to know the One who formed me, then I become better acquainted with myself. And when I know myself, then I am less likely to over-extend and reach the point of burnout, and I am more likely to bear fruit for the coming Kingdom.

In light of this confession, I extend to you the following invitation for meditation just as my Lord has been extending to me:

Consider your interactions in the last 24 hours, the last week, the last month, etc.

When have you felt like you were empty or depleted? Is a relationship, volunteer endeavor or other activity feeling forced or draining you?

Ask the Lord for wisdom in your situation and covenant with your spirit to listen for the voice of our Lord.

Find a piece of fruit and take it into your hand. Observe it. Feel it. Taste it. Consider its source. The plant from which it came was not depleted when it was picked. On the contrary – it had more energy to create even more fruit, and was made healthy.

Consider the fruits of the spirit. Contemplate how they are being formed within you even at this very moment. How are they being expressed in your life so that others can taste and see that the Lord is good?

Ask the Lord to show you how best to be fruitful and to be filled. Root yourself deeply in the Presence of the Living God. Listen for your Maker’s voice in Scripture, nature, music, healthy relationships, insightful people and your own heart.

The Lord created you and you are beautiful. Trust that the One who formed your heart will not lead you astray, nor leave you empty.

God bless your journey toward fruitfulness and abundance.

 May we be found continually drawing from the strong, ever-growing vine of Christ’s love through the power of the Holy Spirit to the glory of God, the Father of all humanity, so that we may overflow with healing, nourishing, life-giving fruit for each other and for the people and world around us in Jesus’ name, amen.