The Blessing of the Crone: Beyond talk of Motherhood

As the heat was turned up here in the Pacific Northwest today, we turned our calendars to the month of May.  It is a month that I greet with mixed emotions.  I have for many years now.

Walking into the stores, turning on the television, browsing the status feeds on Facebook or unfolding the weekly paper, we are greeted with reminders that the day is quickly approaching when we will celebrate those who are able to conceive and give birth.  I am well aware that this day, this month, this holiday has different meaning for different people.  I know the history and the way the day has taken shape in recent years.

For many, Mother's Day is a time of celebration.  For some a time of grief.  For others a day that brings up difficult memories and shines light on unhealed wounds.  For some it is a reminder of how far along the journey towards healing they have already come.  For many it is a day of remembrance, reconciliation and pondering.  For me, it is blend of all of the above.

This evening I joined a group of women to discuss a book by Marion Woodman -- Dancing in the Flames: the Dark Goddess in the Transformation of Consciousness.  One thread of the conversation examined the striking differences between how our elder women were viewed in ancient societies, (and are still in some cultures today) and how they have been viewed by western society over the years.  Woodman uses the term "crone"  reaching deep into our collective consciousness to retrieve an ancient definition -- a wise woman, in the midst of reconnecting to the earth, to nature, to the Divine, to herself and to all of humanity.  I was blessed to find myself in the midst of a group of wise, elder women, several of whom have embraced the term crone with gusto as a term referring to themselves.

I am deeply grateful for this elder age group.  While many of my contemporaries, and those within a decade of me on either side, are wrapped up in the world of mothering, the crones and I are in a similar state of being.  We are both in the realm of self-examination.  We find ourselves contemplating and redefining old dreams.

In some ways, between my the miscarriages of my children over a decade ago, and my thirteen years as a nanny, I feel a bit like my years of "mothering" have drawn to a close, despite my age.  That season of life is not a present reality.  I have much more in common with the women with silver hair than I have in common with my own age group.

Although my heart sometimes still aches for the season of mothering, I am finding myself more and more content to simply be.  I am in an in-between time.  And I am thankful for the women who have come before me. I am thankful for the communion of the wonderful crones.

Beloved,

You know my heart of hearts, my internal wrestling, and the stretching that has come in my identity over the last decade.  I offer all that I am, and all that I desire, to the wisdom of Your competent hands.  I trust that You will continue shaping, stretching and molding me in every stage of life.  

Thank You for the presence of precious crones in my life.  Thank you for the comfort that they bring.  Thank You for their wisdom.  Thank You for the way they reflect Your light.  You shine through their hearts, their eyes and their silver hair.  When they speak, I hear Your voice.  For all of these gifts, the blessings of the crones, I am deeply grateful.

Ah, Tax Day!

Last night I found myself standing in the procrastinator's line at the post office.  The majority of the people who were mailing in their checks for the state department of revenue wrestled with the stamp printing machine, trying to figure out what kind of printed stamp to buy in order to receive the "postmark" of the 15th of April.  Three different people tried three different options, running up small bills on their credit cards before they figured out which option was the correct one.

As the line grew longer and began to snake around the lobby, one might have expected an attitude of grief or anxiety to pervade the atmosphere.  A funny thing happened, though.  Among the folks waiting in line as the seconds turned to minutes and quarter hours and so on, jokes about the drabness of color on the walls or the need for a clown or balloons began to bubble up.  No one was impatient with anyone else.  And when the discovery was made regarding which option was necessary to get the date printed on the stamp, great rejoicing erupted.  The person who made the discovery, (with the help of at least three other people looking at the screen with them) was so delighted that they had finally figured out the system, they stayed to help nearly half a dozen other people behind them so the process could move faster from there.

We discovered that you had to buy three stamps at a time, so those who had only one or two envelopes that needed the date-stamped postage shared with those who had been standing in line behind them.  Wishing one another a "happy tax day", we worked together to lift one another's moods and each person in the line helped the person or two behind them to navigate the silly machine.  I was struck by the presence of the joy and compassion in that small, whitewashed government office.  Christ is sometimes found in the most unlikely of places.  For me, on tax day, Christ was found in the little post office in my hometown.

Ah, Beloved,
You have a way of popping up unexpectedly.  Your Spirit of compassion is present in places we might not think to look for Her.  Surely you surprise us with your grace when we least expect it to come our way.  During this Holy Week, I pray that everyone might catch a reflection of You in our fellow human beings, in the love of our animals or in the glory of your creation.  May we all be captivated by your Spirit of grace and compassion, and may we strive to make Her presence felt more palpably everywhere we go, in Jesus' name, amen.

Morning Coffee

Beloved,

Today the sun shines brightly here in the Pacific Northwest, and the wind cuts cold, slicing through  the hand-made cap upon my head, finding just the right pathway through the neckline of my jacket in order to touch that shoulder that aches a bit when the seasons change.  So, I bundle up a little tighter, pour myself a cup of coffee and wrap up in a thick blanket to sit on the patio rocking chair to listen to the birds sing the last few praises before they travel south to avoid the winter storms.  I can see my breath.  Steam from my coffee fogs up my glasses.

Breathing in deeply, I feel the cold air rush into my lungs.  It remains there, pausing for a long moment, growing warmer as oxygen moves into my bloodstream.  Taking its place, the toxins, the used energy, are returned to my core.  The chill has completely dissipated.  I exhale slowly, wondering if you can feel what I feel, and see what I can see.

My Morning View - Photo by Trista Wynne

The branches of the trees in the green space are now exposed.  Waving proudly in their nakedness, they are not ashamed.  If only I could be so bold!

My lips have lost their moisture now - stolen by the frigid wind - that rascally thief!  The warm liquid soothes them, if only for a moment.  My coffee is losing its comforting properties to the same bandit that wicked away the softness of my skin.  I do not care.  I am here with you.  For this moment, that is enough.

Wild Waves & Soothing Sands: Trysting with Beloved at the Coast

Written at the beach during my discernment retreat, the following excerpt from my journal and photos reflect  my deep experiences with Beloved...

"Crashing Wave Untamed" - Photo by Trista Wynne

Beloved,

Thank You for meeting me at the beach this afternoon!  Thank You for this secluded spot -- a little nesting area for You and me to share.  Thank You for the sound of the ocean, the rhythm of the waves, the cleansing and peace that comes from being so close to the edge of unharnessed waters.

Oh, what a tryst we had!  You are indeed my First Love!  I long for you unceasingly.  When I get a little taste, all I can think of is when I can next receive the falernum nobele, the very best of wines, from Your navel again.  

Your left arm rests under my head; Your right arm encircles me once more.

Fire, Ashes, Prayer & Healing on Ash Wednesday

Today I had a different experience with the imposition of ashes than I have for several years.  The words spoken with the ashes were not of mortality and returning to the earth.  Instead, as the sign of the cross was drawn upon me, these words were spoken:  "Hear the Gospel and believe."

Photo by Trista Wynne

The Gospel -- the Good News, dear ones, is that we will not be separated for long by the chasm of death.  We will all be together once more on account of the birth, life, death and resurrection of our Beloved, the Christ.  The Good News, dear ones, is that the whole world, which now aches and groans in pain and brokenness, will be filled with peace, love, new life and wholeness.  There will be no more death, no more tears, no more suffering, no more pain.  Each person will live in comfort and no one shall make anyone afraid, for all needs everywhere will be satisfied.

This evening, during our Ash Wednesday service, we received small pieces of paper at the door when we entered the sanctuary.  After a reading from Isaiah and the pastoral meditation, we wrote down our transgressions, our fears, our strife, our pain, our laments and our hopes, our dreams and joys.  As we gathered to receive communion, we laid our written burdens down in a bowl at the base of the cross.  With empty hands now, we received the bread and wine with which we remember our Beloved Christ, then we received the imposition of the ashes upon our foreheads.

Returning to our seats for a time of reflective prayer and penitence, we prayed for one another, for ourselves, and for God's creation.  We offered our confessions and prayed for healing from all sin.  The papers which we had brought to the front were soaked in oil and were then lit on fire.  

Photo by Trista Wynne - @ Murrayhills Christian Church

A great and glorious flame consumed our fears, our sin, our hopes and all which we had confessed.  That burning bowl of confessions put off quite a bit of heat as we prayed!

Photo by Trista Wynne - @ Murrayhills Christian Church

A Brief Thanksgiving

Beloved ~

Thank you for the sunshine today!

Thank you for the time I was able to spend with my husband and with my parents today.  Being with them all this morning and seeing my parents' eyes light up with joy over the toddler I nanny was a tremendous blessing!  I haven't seen them smile and laugh like that in a long time!

Photo by Trista Wynne

Thank you for the delight that the little child I nanny takes in life.  The child's spirit seems to rub off on all with whom they interact.  I pray this child never looses that quality!

Thank you for this time, Beloved.

Amen.

Remembering Days Gone By

Beloved ~

While getting ready for work this morning, my body, mind and spirit were coated in molasses.  I moved very slowly.  Tired and grieving, I climbed into the car.  I cried a great deal.

All I want to do is to sit with my daddy.  All I desire is to snuggle up close with him.  I don't want to see or hear or touch anyone else.

Perhaps being a nanny is hard right now because what I want more than anything is to be little again.  I want to be a small child once more -- knowing what I know now -- climbing up onto my daddy's lap at the end of his work day.  I want that time with him back.

Sharing snacks of peanut butter and crackers while watching cartoons or reading a book was one of my favorite ways to end the day.  When everyone else was asleep, I would lay in my bed and wait for the sound of daddy's car to drive up.  I'd sneak out of bed and greet him at the door and we would have our special time together.  The nights when daddy would tell me a story about life on the farm when he was little were the best...

Searching for You outside the Church Walls

Ah, Lord,

You know my heart!  I just want to find a community that lives out Your love and proclaims freedom and peace.  After the church visit that I have recently had, my heart is saddened, but still, I continue to search for you.  Surely it shouldn't be this hard to find unharnessed love!

Why should I have to look any farther than the church that claims to be following You, Lord Jesus?  Why must I look beyond the people who claim to know You in order to find justice, peace and steadfast love?  I just don't understand.  I wish I could take people at their word, and that the one who claims to be a Christian would walk in Your way: loving You with their whole being, and loving their neighbors (with a wide definition!) as much as they love themselves.

A Child's Eucharistic Celebration

Hear O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord alone.  You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might.  Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart.  Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise.  Bind them as a sign on your hand, fix them as an emblem on your forehead, and write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (Deut. 6:4-9)

This morning, the preschooler that I nanny, who has just celebrated his third birthday, celebrated his first Eucharist.  We weren't in a church building.  There wasn't a lot of music or long prayers or chanting.  Instead, his father and I were eating breakfast with him and watching the birds outside the window.

A Lovely Visit

Beloved,

You have created us to be in community, to find friends and to be in relationship with other human beings.  I am so blessed to have been visited by one of your beautiful daughters this afternoon.  In all the months that it has been since my husband and I have been away from the church we attended for several years, this was the first time that one of the congregants have contacted us directly and asked to simply get together.  What a joy it was to have her over!  And what a delightful surprise for her to bring me flowers and cookies, too! 

Church: Branches, Zombies, Fire & Life

Beloved,

My allegiance is to You above all.  I trust that You are in Your Church, no matter how divided it may seem.  I wish, Lord, that denominational (and non-denominational) branches would not exclude one another, but would have more interaction.  Each individual congregation strives for their own vision, their own purpose, and their own future.  Do they not realize that we are all one in You?

"Thirsty Tree" - Photo by Trista Wynne

This pointless striving against one another, whether overtly or in undercurrents, has sadly been our legacy from the beginning.

The Gift of Light: A Simple Poem of Thanks for Sun, Song & Sharing

Beloved,

The sweet sunshine settles along the horizon
another day is at an end,
I enter Your chamber to thank You
 
You bless us with the gift of life, my Love
and the sensuous joy of light
our hearts are lifted in gratitude for all
 
Drumming and dancing, our bodies rejoice
sun on our faces and birds all around,
our spirits are filled with delight
 
A contented purr resounds
as the windows are flung open wide
the kitties delightedly stretch and mew
 
A gentle caress from the cherry blossom
the sensuous aroma of the wild flower
sweet perfumes of incense grace the afternoon

The brush in my hand strokes the canvas
divine delicacies dance on our tongues
we happily doze in the warmth of Your light

"Blossoming Joy" - Photo by Trista Wynne

Thank You, Beloved, for the light of this day and the music we made together!

May our eyes be opened to whatever You desire to show us. 
May our minds be prepared for all that You want to reveal. 
May our hearts and spirits pursue You above all else. 
And may our bodies be vessels of Your love. 
In Jesus’ name, amen.

Palms, Presence and Unexpected Joy

Ah Beloved,

Thank You for Your presence at the chapel this morning!  Sophia-Spirit, You flowed through the message and music, speaking to my husband and I both in ways that were unexpected and surprising.  We entered that place feeling a little awkward, but soon felt welcomed.  Since the worshipping area was close to the front doors, it was easy to see where to go, and the combination of worship and arts was clearly evident from the beginning.  Both of these things were very appealing to us.

There were a few things that made me think I’d rather go elsewhere, like the loudness of the music and the strange placement of the early offering.  For the first half of the message, I felt like I was listening to one of my brothers tell a story.  The pastor jumped all over the place, citing Bible passages from Hebrews, Philippians, Genesis, Jonah and John.  My mind was a metal bal inside a pinball machine!  But then, somewhere about two-thirds of the way in, the pastor suddenly seemed to connect with Your Spirit of Peace, and clarity came.  The last portion of the sermon was poignant, and exactly what we needed to hear today.

Then we prayed the prayer that You taught Your disciples, and many hands around us were lifted.  Your Presence was tangibly felt, and complete surrender fell upon everyone in the crowd.  In those moments following the sermon and the prayer, the room seemed to vibrate with energy, and then, when the band began to play, every hair on my body stood on end.  I don’t think a single person stood still in that room.  We couldn’t!  You were there!  My husband’s hand met mine, and we were practically elevated off the floor!  What energy!

What a gift!  What an unexpected gift!  Ah, Beloved King of kings, how awesome it was to worship you in a way that used our entire being!  To sing to you with the kind of music that naturally makes us want to dance fully connects our heads, hearts and bodies in worship.  We were so blessed to receive Your Presence today.  And I am humbled, because You came and met us where we least expected it.  The theology at that church is very different than mine, and they have restrictive burdens that I feel are highly unnecessary, but even there You are working. 

"Unexpected Beauty" - Photo by Trista Wynne

You come where we least expect You, and You act in loving kindness, granting Your Presence even to those who do not understand.  I suppose this unexpected Presence is what Palm Sunday is all about, for You entered Jerusalem not as the messiah hell-bent on war and overthrowing the oppressive powers, but as the gentle King of the Universe, humble and riding on a donkey.  You came in peace, knowing that You had the rest of eternity to make all things right.  Your presence then came as a surprise, even to those who knew You best; so it is even today.

Blessed King, may we be continually surprised by Your loving kindness for all of creation, and may we do our best to reflect this same unrequited love to all, amen.

A Heavenly Chorus: Highlights of Harmony at St Thomas this Morning

The lovely priest at St Thomas invited us to commune with You as our Lover this morning during our reflection time following the homily. Ah, Beloved, You honored us all through that service! We felt a palpable Presence of Your Sophia-Spirit from that moment onward and burst into song after our Eucharistic encounter with Your Christ. The spontaneous blending of voices in perfect harmony made my every hair stand on end and shivers of sheer joy flow from the top of my head to the tips of my toes!

O Beloved! How utterly invigorating it is to be in Your Presence as part of a sacred assembly! What freedom and love flows in this community of Christ!

Thank You, Lord, for this very special community seeking Your way in the heart of Bellevue. Thank You for the gift of Your Spirit and the revelation of Yourself as Lover of All through Jesus the Christ. Truly You are the most precious of all the things we call treasures! In comparison to You, all other things are merely chaff in the wind.

We have done nothing to merit the love and adoration You lavish upon us, yet You hold nothing back! You give Yourself wholly and completely to and for us despite our forgetfulness and neglect of You. We are known to turn away, to close our eyes and ears, or even to violently oppose Your purposes and desires, yet You are constantly found singing Your sacred melody of unrequited love.

And so, today, the moment we turned toward You and entered into the communion of saints through the Eucharist, we found ourselves joining Your love song. Ah, Beloved, when we encounter You fully, we cannot hold silence! Our feet want to dance, our hands want to raise and our voices will not be hindered. Fullness of surrender, wholehearted praise, and complete adoration of You, triune God, gush forth as Your Living Fountain flows through our communal being. Whenever we are connected to You and to each other and to Your creation, truly, Beloved, You are found in that place.

May Your presence be known throughout the earth for all generations, through the Holy Spirit in Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

"Gushing Forth" - Snoqualmie Falls, March 2011 - Photo by Trista Wynne

Battling the Beloved: How my Heart is won back when I Turn Away

Hello Beloved,

Much is on my mind, not for worries, but mostly for contemplation. At the forefront, though, is the sermon preached by our dear friend and pastor in Beaverton, where we found ourselves beginning Spring Break this weekend. The sermon on trust, the songs about being clay in Your hands, and their combined calling to release ourselves into Your arms for Your purposes – these are the images on my mind this evening.

Towards the beginning of the service, when the song entitled “The Potter’s Hand” was being sung, I found myself unable to join in the singing. This was odd since it is a favorite song of mine, but my spirit was heavy and I was grieved over the lack of connections and deep friendships in our lives since we followed Your call to move up here to the Seattle area. I didn’t feel particularly willing to become just anything or anyone at that moment in time. You know, Beloved, how I sometimes battle with You in spirit. Thankfully, Your Spirit is kind and compassionate, and gently worked throughout the rest of the service to remind me how much I am valued and loved even by that dear community which is several hours away from us.

"Softness of the Beloved" - Photo by Trista Wynne

The prayers of the people, the sermon, the strong embrace of our dearly loved minister of music, and lengthy hugs from the children (now teenagers) whom I used to nanny for – these all worked together to soften my heart. By the time we were invited to Your table, I was able to let go of the false pretense of control over my life. I simply acknowledge that in this part of the journey, my life and the life of my husband are truly in Your hands. I want to trust You; Lord, please help my lack of trust.

The Way of the Beloved: Journeying through Lent - 1st Sunday 2011

Tonight at Frankincense we read from Genesis, the story of the time when humanity chose a way that was different from the path You laid out. An alternate ending was presented from Rabbi Kushner, one in which there was no decision to turn away. There was simply Eden.

In his alternate ending, there was no extreme sorrow, but pleasure was also lacking. With every need met and no experience of pain or suffering, I wonder if we would ever have grown to love You. Would we have grown to love one another? Would we love ourselves?

What would this life look like if there was no sin or separation or hiding between us? Or are any of these things actually here now? Sin is supposedly the separation from You, but Beloved, is there a place in existence where You are not? The psalmist would contend, and the prophets agree, that such a place does not exist. So what then is sin? Julian says it is of no substance at all. If separation is the definition, then I think she is right, for wherever we travel, You, Beloved, are with us.

"Lenten Feet" - Photo by Trista Wynne

This brings me back to the Genesis passage. What really happened there? Where, if anywhere, did You go when the woman was speaking with the serpent? Were You hidden from sight? Why would You hide when their biggest decision ever was being made?

But this apparent absence is what Lent is about, then, isn’t it? We remember Jesus’ struggle and painful wandering out in the desert during a time of utmost importance in His earthly ministry. In that time were You hidden? The text is silent on the subject, saying neither that You were there, nor that you were absent beyond the physical presence of Christ. We get no clear indication that there was a separation of Your communal nature until the agonizing cry from the cross. But even there, was it separation or perception? Are we simply blinded to Your presence at times? How is it that we can feel so far away from You even when we are found in Your very womb, Dear Mother?

These things are too wonderful for me, Beloved! Still, on account of our intimacy, I am free to ask the questions that burn in my heart this night. What happened in Eden? What happened in the desert? What happened at the cross? What is this road about which we are walking along together? Where might it lead, and is the end really the beginning? How can we be coming back to You, as some theologians might say, if You have never really left us in the first place? Surely You are not far from us, Beloved! Surely we are always near to Your heart, O God!

Perhaps more questions will arise, Dear One, as we continue this Lenten journey together. For now, however, I’m glad to have the freedom to bring my questions to You as I prepare to slumber. I pray that I might be tucked into the fold of Your garment and that I might come closer to hearing and echoing Your heartbeat, Beloved. Oh let us be one as I enter my sleep, amen.

The Divine Feminine

In a way unlike any time prior, I am finding myself noticing the imagery of the feminine in Scripture in intimate detail.  The nourishing actions of a breast-feeding mother, the gentle flutter of a mother hen's wing, the protective shelter of the muscular womb, the intimate passions of the feminine belly -- all of these womanly wonders are attributed to You and to Your prophets across the span of time and space.  How intricately woven is the female body!  How intimately connected to You!

"Tender Strength" - Photo by Trista Wynne

Precious Spirit, You are in the midst of enriching my reading of Your Word and deepening my love for You at every juncture.  The tender caress of the flowers in bloom remind me of Your Feminine Presence.  I am delicate and strong, just like You.  Oh Sophia, Precious Mother, Passionate Lover and Companion of all, thank You.  I am deeply grateful for Your presence, and I await Your timing in the blossoming of my own internal flower as the earth now waits for spring.

Rest & Reconnection: Thanksgiving & Hope for Peace

Good afternoon, Beloved ~

The sunshine You are providing today is marvelous! Thank You for this glorious gift of grace and joy! Thank You for this day on which to rest and reflect on You!

Thank You for the gift of my husband. When I rest in the crook of his strong, gentle arms and listen to his heartbeat while my head lays on his chest, I find reflection of Your love. Thank You, Beloved, for speaking to me in this way. I pray that I, too, might become a tangible reflection of Your love here for many. May the words that I write, speak and sing, and the actions of my head, heart, hands and feet produce an abundance of fruit for Your Garden on the earth.

Thank You for this day of rest and reconnection!

"Reconnection" - Photo by Trista Wynne

For my friends, my sisters and brothers of many backgrounds who have trouble feeling close to You, O Beloved, surround them with compassion and grace! Raise up many to love on Your behalf. For those who feel ashamed or alone, O Lord, restore; reveal Yourself and let Your face shine through us who are called by Your name. O Christ, grant Your seekers the compassion to love in Your way; expand out hearts, minds and hands so we can reflect You to the ends of the earth. O Spirit of Life, grant wisdom and courage to the leaders of all the nations; infuse each one with the desire for peace and reconciliation so all peoples can enter Your Presence.

May all enemies be reconciled and striving cease to the ends of the earth! May all peoples be drawn to You and Love be known by all! May we unite and work together to reveal Your Kingdom through Your Holy Spirit, in Jesus’ name, amen.

Welcome Home: On the Communion of Saints Past and Present

“Welcome home!” This was the greeting I received from one of the beloved elder women at St Thomas’ Episcopal this morning as we gathered for the mid-week Eucharist. I was deeply moved in my spirit by the heart-felt greeting and warm embrace of the wonderful woman in red. “Where have you been?!” she exclaimed, “we’ve missed you!”

What a greeting that was! Having been absent for two weeks on account of a disabled vehicle, I was quickly swept into open arms after open arms and greeted with prayers and blessings for peace. Part of that is incorporated into the service in the passing of the peace, but the emotion behind these greetings was far more than I had anticipated, and I was overwhelmed by the hospitality of this simple community gathering. One might have thought that I had been out of their midst for several months.

Oh Lord, what a blessing these people are to me! What a compassionate, prayerful, loving community you have placed nearby! How open and inclusive they are!

Ah, Beloved, they reflect Your light into the world and they bring out the God-flavors in me. O Sophia-Spirit, thank You for breathing into them. Through this mid-week Eucharist gathering, I am reminded of Your love.

"Papa's Love" - Photo by Trista Wynne

Thank You, Papa, also for my dear professor at Fuller, who that same evening, paused from his work to listen to my concerns regarding direction and call, and who approached Your throne of grace together with me. Bless this wonderful, dedicated, compassionate being with even more wisdom, grace and compassion than this one already has, and help them to accomplish all of the tasks they have before them. May they be filled with assurance and peace as the term continues to rush forward.

Thank You, Lord. Thank You for the joyful smiles and laughter and snuggles of the little child I was able to be with, who joined You in the realm of eternity six years ago today. All of us who are left surely do miss him, and wish we could see him growing up, but for whatever reason, this will not happen here on the earth…

I think of the welcome that I received from the blessed woman this morning, and the grace, peace and compassion extended to me by my professor this evening, and I know that You have been working through them all. If I can feel Your presence so strongly through others here, I wonder how awesome it must have been for that dear child to come into the fullness of Your presence. “Welcome home!” that dear one must have heard, “we’ve missed you!” What warmth and grace and love must emanate from You for that little one!

If we who remain here have such strong feelings of love and longing, how much greater must Your desires be for those who do not allow You to embrace them! Oh Lord, You must be so anguished by so many people. I pray deeply for their restoration into Your presence so they might feel Your love! I know that You reveal Yourself in many ways to many different people groups in a variety of cultures, and I know that You uniquely revealed Your relationship to us as Papa-God through Your Beloved Christ, and that Your Sophia-Spirit is dancing among us even now to make this revelation clear. There are many, even in the churches that bear Your name, who do not understand what this relationship means for us, nor for the world around us. Oh, Beloved, let us hear Your heartbeat tonight. Let us climb up and snuggle You, and allow ourselves to be snuggled! Help us all to rest well in Jesus’ name, amen.

On the Presence of God in Community: A Prayer after Conversation

"Simple Offering" - Photo by Matthew Wynne

Thank You, Lord, for blessing others through my simple act of baking this afternoon. Thank You for honoring my work even when I felt lethargic this morning. Thank You for soft, sweet kitties and warm snuggles and friends to talk to. Thank You for quiet time this evening to be with You.

Thank You that I can honestly come to You in all of my emotions, with all of the concerns, frustrations, excitements, confusions, disappointments, fears, delights, sadness, joys, anxieties, tumults, loves, passions, laments and praises. Thank You for hearing our concerns for our families this evening. Thank You for acting even before we could know what You are up to in all of the situations we have seen, heard, discussed, lamented and rejoiced about in Your presence.

We leave these things in Your care, for You are fully capable of handling each one. We also desire to be active participants in Your Kingdom, Lord, so if You would like us to interact with one another or have a particular role in any of the concerns brought before You today, please help us to discern the next concrete steps to take. And if we are to simply wait and watch You work, please grant peace and encouragement. Let Your Sophia-Spirit flow like rivers, bringing justice, mercy and steadfast love in all things, and may we, like Jesus, pursue the things which make for peace and bring You glory.

Good night, Papa; let us sleep in Your peace. Amen.