Longing for Peace & Acknowlegding the War within

As we dive deeper and deeper into the reality surrounding the atrocities in Syria, I am reminded, Beloved of the sermon You prepared in my heart to share earlier this summer.  While I do not know the best ways for our country to work with the people of Syria and the leaders there who are so very destructive, I trust that You do.

While we yearn for a world in which wars, violence and oppression do not exist, we must come face-to-face with the reflection we encounter each day when we look in the mirror.  If we look deep enough, we will find that no matter how we try to portray ourselves, we all have the tendencies towards violence, bloodshed, anger and tyranny.

Oh, Beloved, have mercy.  And help us to go and do likewise.  As you said from the cross, we just have no clue what we are doing...




This sermon, "Swords into Gardening Tools: Violence, Peace & True Victory", was delivered to the people of Murray Hills Christian Church on Sunday, July 7th, 2013.  Asking the question, "what are we celebrating?" as I reflected on Independence Day, I found the Beloved leading me to the following text.

Micah 4:1-4 

In days to come

the mountain of the Lord’s house
shall be established as the highest of the mountains,
    and shall be raised up above the hills.
Peoples shall stream to it,
2     and many nations shall come and say:
“Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord,
    to the house of the God of Jacob;
that he may teach us his ways
    and that we may walk in his paths.”
For out of Zion shall go forth instruction,
    and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem.
3 He shall judge between many peoples,
    and shall arbitrate between strong nations far away;
they shall beat their swords into plowshares,
    and their spears into pruning hooks;
nation shall not lift up sword against nation,
    neither shall they learn war any more;
4 but they shall all sit under their own vines and under their own fig trees,
    and no one shall make them afraid;
    for the mouth of the Lord of hosts has spoken.

Although war with Syria may happen, and wars and oppression will likely continue around the world, we have a promise from the prophets of old that there will be a day when all wars, all violence, all oppression and all fear will come to an end.  Our propensity towards violence, within ourselves and in the ways we interact with the world, will all be healed.  All people, everywhere, will be at peace and dwell in true Shalom.  May we do all that we can to live into this reality in our homes, our schools, our churches and our larger communities until that final day comes when we forget the devastation of war.  Amen.

Reflecting on a Dream

Tomorrow I head to the coast for a discernment retreat with a very dear friend of mine.  This evening, as the last bits of light from the daylight slowly fade and the shadows of nightfall once again cover the land, I have found myself pawing through my journal pages.  What might the Spirit might illuminate for me to ruminate upon?

This entry leaps off the page into my psyche.  This is what my spirit is swirling over this evening...

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Sunday, the 17th of March, 7:15 p.m. -- Today I presided at The Lord's Table for the first time.  I am very blessed to be in a church where "the priesthood of all believers" is not just theory but praxis.  This beautiful congregation at Murrayhills Christian has blessed me beyond belief.

First Day Presiding - 17 March 2013 - Photo by Matthew Wynne

I have dreamed of this day since I was three.  Very few dreams stick with us persistently for that long.  This dream, and visions of myself as pastor, have gone through ebbs and flows of urgency over the years.  Certain aspects, (like pay, setting, denomination, location) have gone through significant transformation over the years -- particularly in the years leading up to, and during, seminary.  Still, the dream of presiding at the Eucharist Table -- breaking the bread and blessing the cup in the Jesus tradition, extending an open invitation to all -- has remained as a constant.

The Purpose of Faith: Interfaith Dialogue & Responding to Darkness in the World

Photo by Trista Wynne

Offering our fellow human beings hope, love and light when they are in the midst of deep despair, pain and darkness -- this is one of the highest callings of humanity.  I wrote this on the Facebook wall of one of my youth just a few minutes ago.  I serve as youth adviser in a Unitarian Universalist Fellowship on Sunday mornings following my service and musical offerings in our Christian Church because I have a high value on interfaith dialogue and study.

I originally hopped online this morning thinking I might post a response to Boston from a Christian perspective, in particular from a Christian leader’s perspective as I am a seminary-trained woman preparing for the possibility of ordination and pastoral leadership.  But then I read my youth’s post about an interaction they’d had with a stranger where they were thanked afterwards for being the brightest moment in the past year of my life and for enlightening me with your perspective of the world.  And I was reminded that no matter what our faith tradition is, one of our highest callings is the offering towards our fellow human beings of hope, love and light in the midst of great despair, pain and darkness.  So, my post this morning is shaped a little differently than originally intended.

Earnest Anticipation & Fulfillment of Lifelong Dreams

I have earnestly longed to share this meal with you!

These are Jesus' words as he lifted the bread above His precious head during the final Passover meal of his ministry.  These are the words I will speak early tomorrow morning as I lift the bread and wine at the altar in Murrayhills Christian Church.

How long I have waited to share this meal with you!  I have dreamed of this very moment from the time I was three years old. 

This is what has been going through  my mind ever since I was asked to lead communion and to speak the words of institution over the bread and wine on this day.  I have an almost child-like giddiness bubbling up within my spirit as I contemplate the honor I have been given by being asked to preside at the Table.  Like the great women of old: Miriam, the first worship leader of Israel after the Exodus; Hannah, the barren woman giving thanks for the gift of a child of promise and prophecy; and Mother Mary, giving thanks for the salvation of all humankind, my spirit is filled with songs of praise and joy at the fulfillment of a lifelong dream.

Eucharist - A Meal of Thanksgiving - Photo by Trista Wynne

As I pray and consider the Scriptures etched in my heart, my imagination fills out what might have been going through Jesus' mind, the things He wanted to say but couldn't for one reason or another, on that evening so many years ago...

You don't yet know the importance of this meal.  You've been celebrating it all your lives, and yet the Spirit of God still has more light to shed on your hearts and minds.  Our Beloved in Heaven is working, even in this very moment, to bring the Kingdom of Peace and Love to the earth through you.  And it starts here, with this bread, with this wine, with the sharing of this meal.  The Kingdom of God begins with you.

In the Midst of the Wailing in Ramah

Today, at the church we are attending, the annual children's pageant took the place of the sermon.  I'm sure it's been planned for months to have the children lead the Sunday where we light a candle for Joy, but the timing, in light of the recent tragedies both here in Portland and in Connecticut, was uncanny.  The children were the only ones who could bring joy to the service today...

I will confess that the children's voices were not all perfectly on pitch.  Some of the angels lost their halos or had their wings turned sideways or upside down.  One of the kings nearly lost their treasure as they fumbled with the long robes on the steps.  And yet, it was all perfect.

As the young child playing Mary cradled the Jesus doll in her arms, and the older child playing Joseph helped her lay the doll in the manger, my mind was taken back to the story of old. While shepherds and astrologers and angels rubbed elbows and tried to stay balanced near the altar, an older elementary child held up a gigantic star high for the congregation to see.  And I was very moved.

Photo taken at Murrayhills Christian Church
16 December 2012

Tears stung my eyes as the children sang "Joy to the World" as only they can.  And then their time in the front was done.  They took their seats to the sound of a collective deep breath.  We had all been moved, for the Spirit of God was present.

A recent seminary graduate proclaimed the Lord's presence and invited us to the Great Table where all are welcome.  We shared a lengthy time of silence, and I wondered how many people were thinking about the time of Jesus' birth and the darker side of the wise men narrative...

Praying with the Church

Today, while the baby I nanny sleeps in the next room, I join my brothers and sisters throughout the world walking through the Order of Holy Eucharist in the Book of Common Prayer.  In particular, I join my sisters and brothers at St Thomas Medina where I served as Children's and Youth Intern over this last summer.  They have a mid-week Eucharist service at ten o'clock every week.  I have been a part of their worshipping community for two and a half years.  Now I join them from a different state, but my spirit continues to be with them.  So, today I am reading along with them.

I have come to the part in the service where the Prayers of the People are being offered up.  We are called to pray:

• For the Universal Church, its members and its mission
• For the Nation and all in authority
• For the welfare of the world
• For the concerns of the local community
• For those who suffer and those in any trouble
• For the departed and those who grieve

And so, let us join together in prayer: 

Beloved,

We ask for Your Church to be comprehensive in vision, open in inclusion, willing in service, quick to love and slow to judge.  We ask for hope and light and wisdom to be poured out upon the world in Jesus' name through Your Church.  And we pray for the same to come to pass through the world towards Your Church so that all in Your service will recall that You are Lord over all the earth.

We pray for our nation, torn in battle over who is the greatest.  We pray for wisdom and discernment for all who are in leadership.  We pray for our president, for our senators, for our congress-folk, for all in the administrative cabinet, for all who are in service to our country, for our mayors and governors, our state leaders, our tribal councils, and all elected and influential people.  Beloved, may the work of Your Kingdom: the Kingdom of peace, love, light and grace become evident through the words and actions of our leaders.  May we seek justice, love mercy and abide in steadfast love and faithfulness as a nation.  May we not turn our backs on the poor, the oppressed, the alien, the widow, the mistreated, the social outcast, the mentally ill, the physically disabled or any other people group.  May we work diligently as a nation to remove poverty, to pursue social equity, to provide health and mental health coverage to all regardless of gender, race, creed, sexual orientation or legal status.  May we learn not to discriminate against our neighbors, but to embrace them in love and respect.  In these ways, the world may know that You are here.

We pray for the world.  We lift up our sisters and brothers from all nations who are feeling the effects of war, poverty, abusive regimes, tyranny, genocide and all kinds of horrific atrocities that make Your heart sick.  We pray that You will work through the governments of the world to restore justice and mercy to the ends of the earth.  We pray for the women throughout the world who do not have equal access to education: may true equality be seen throughout the world!  We pray for all who are bullied or ostracized on account of sexual orientation: may discrimination and mistreatment cease!  We pray for children who are abused or neglected: may they no longer slip under the radar of a broken system!  May Your light shine brightly to expose the problems in our systems, and may Your Light and Wisdom be granted to all of us so that we might work together to fix what is broken in our societies.  Then all may know that You are God.

We pray for our own cities and towns.  We ask for You to again help us to pursue justice and equity in our neighborhoods, in our congregations, in our community centers, in our work places, in our homes and in our schools.  We pray for Your Holy Spirit to guide our interactions with all whom we meet.  May Your light shine so brightly through us that the people around us may see and know that You are Love.

We pray for the wounded.  We lift up the mentally ill.  We pray for the grieving.  We pray for our brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews, grandparents and parents, neighbors and friends who are struggling financially, emotionally, physically or mentally.  We pray for those who are in need of surgery, for those who cannot afford health care and therefor neglect their bodies to the point that they cannot be mended and for those who cannot afford mental health coverage.  We pray for all who do not yet know that they have a terminal illness.  We pray for the doctors, the nurses and the entire healthcare teams throughout the world who are working to provide care and searching for better treatments for the illnesses that plague all of us.  We pray for the animals You created: may they be treated with dignity and respect.  May those who are raised for food be ethically treated and receive good lives.  May those who enter our homes and our properties as domestic animals receive love, proper nutrition and care.  May those who have suffered abuse and neglect be rescued and find better homes!  May any organization that allows or promotes the abuse or neglect of Your creatures be exposed and destroyed.  May all of Your creatures be viewed as beautiful and seen as gifts of Your grace, works of Your hand and therefore loved and honored in Your name.

We pray for hospice workers: nurses, chaplains, volunteers and therapists of all kinds.  May they receive abundant grace, be filled with great wisdom and be treated with deep gratefulness by all.  We pray for the dying, that they might receive therapies, herbs and medicine that will ease their pain and discomfort.  We pray that they might receive all the treatments they need to ease their transition from this life to the next.  We pray for the chaplains and spiritual leaders who minister to them and to their families.  We pray for those who have already passed from life to Life, that they might receive a gentle repose and may know the Love and Light and Peace that is your own heart.  May we all be reunited in You when the time is proper.

In Jesus' name through the Holy Spirit we pray, 

Amen.

Experiencing a Season of Pruning

This morning began with dark clouds, both inside and out, but the dishes got done, I ate and showered and prepared for the day anyway. At St Thomas Episcopal this morning, Father Lex spoke on Jesus' parable of the vine and branches. When he said that part of abiding in Jesus is embracing the pruning and letting go of the parts of our lives that are dying, my tears spilled over. 

Letting go when someone you love is on a timeline...dear God...it's not a pleasant road...fear, anxiety, grief, indigestion, deep sadness, anger, questions -- all follow me everywhere.  Yet, for a bit of time on this day that began so dark, though, the clouds lifted.

After Eucharist we pray for one another with the laying on of hands and anointing oil. Thank God for this precious service! Sun broke through, a little at a time, both inside and out. I'm thankful for these moments and even hours of light and love while I walk the road of shadows. I'm very thankful for this precious community of faith.

Born to be a Healer

Psalm 139:13
Photo by friend Justin Foltz
Used with permission.

One of my dear friends and prayer partners who is working as a Bible translator in Asia mailed a special book to me for the holidays.  I just received it yesterday.  The book is entitled Whispers of His Word: Encountering Jesus.  It is a journal with brief verses and writing prompts to focus us in on the heart of God.

Last night I read the introduction and turned to the first entry page.  There I found Psalm 139:13.

For You created my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother's womb.

The prayer prompt begins by addressing our Lord as the creative, loving father who crafted us in our mother's womb and knew every fiber of our being before we even took our first breath beginning a journey of self-discovery that lasts throughout our lives.  Daddy, Papa, Abba, You made me so wonderful.  Why?

The lines in the journal remained blank as I simply breathed deeply and asked the Holy Spirit to come and touch me:   

Come, Sophia, Creative Energy, Dancing Child.  
Come, draw near and whisper in my ear.  
Come, draw close, and fill me with Your presence.  
Come, and let me draw near to You.

Sighing over the False Prophets

Bless the Lord, my soul,
and bless God's holy name.
Bless the Lord, my soul,
who leads me into life.

Beloved,
You do lead us into life.  You came so that we might have life and have it abundantly.  You have given us a Spirit of love that casts out fear.  You are our refuge in time of trouble and a fortress in whom we find shelter and steadfast love.

O Lord, You do not desire oppression.  Tyranny and coercion are detestable in Your sight.  When Your disciples fought among themselves about who ought to have more power and influence, you clearly stated that this power struggle has no place in Your Kingdom.   Why then, do we insist on stratifying ourselves and claiming that our caste system within the family of God has Your blessing?

Searching for You outside the Church Walls

Ah, Lord,

You know my heart!  I just want to find a community that lives out Your love and proclaims freedom and peace.  After the church visit that I have recently had, my heart is saddened, but still, I continue to search for you.  Surely it shouldn't be this hard to find unharnessed love!

Why should I have to look any farther than the church that claims to be following You, Lord Jesus?  Why must I look beyond the people who claim to know You in order to find justice, peace and steadfast love?  I just don't understand.  I wish I could take people at their word, and that the one who claims to be a Christian would walk in Your way: loving You with their whole being, and loving their neighbors (with a wide definition!) as much as they love themselves.

Extreme Humility

This post was composed last Wednesday as I reflected on the icon of extreme humility in St Thomas' chapel, but I wanted to include a photo when I shared it and didn't have my camera with me at the time.  So, now that I have the icon to show you, please ponder along with my prayer below.

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Walking the Way

Oh Lord,

I can't sleep tonight.  I'm angry!  I'm angry that I can't find a place to land in the Church.  I'm angry that I'm feeling alone, and that so many people are arguing with one another over whose Church it really is.  The details are in my journal this evening, but there are areas in the churches around me that are making me hurt, and because I feel hurt I write in anger.  It's not directed at anyone but You, because You are the only one that can handle the depth of my emotions. 

*sigh*

Lord, please, give Your Church guidance, vision and inspiration.  We are so lost.  People around here don't know You because we in the Church are so focused on digging our heels into the ground and fighting one another.  We use manipulative techniques to try and deprive each other of power.  We don't recognize any denominations except our own.  We can't even seem to reconcile differences within our own congregations.

Oh Lord, have mercy!

Ah, Lord, I feel like my ministerial visioning is a bit like the weather in Seattle.  I get a glimpse of hope, sunshine and clarity, and then the rainclouds of reality come and separate me from the vision for a while.  The vision always comes back, and I know it's there in the distance, but there are days that are darker than others, and there are times when the clouds are simply very, very heavy.

Today is one of those days, Beloved.

I'm glad that You are with me today.  I'm glad that You walk me through the dark valley when I'm there, and that You allow me to wrestle with You when I'm angry with Your peoples.  Forgive me for the times that I take my anger out on them instead of You.  Help me to be more creative with my interactions, and to use my imagination to heal where woundedness is clearly evident.

Lord, help us to reconcile with one another.  Help Your peoples to aim for unity.  I know that we miss the mark; that's why You came, Lord Jesus.  With Your help, Beloved, we can improve our aim.  In time, our practice of faith will become healthier in Your hands.  One day we will be right on target, and walking the Way which You have given to us.

I hope that day comes soon.

Show me, Sophia-Spirit, what I can do to help the world draw closer to our Beloved.  I desire to work with You, not against You.  Help me to see through Your eyes.  Amen.