Signs of New Life

Beloved ~

As we journey through the middle of the winter time, I have found it hard to remember the light of your love.  My soul has often felt like it was swirling in a thick fog or meandering about in the darkness, lacking direction and confidence.  Such have the months been since graduating from seminary and asking what is next.  Here, though, in these last few days, it seems that your Spirit has been stirring and opening new doors.  I have now sold my second painting: "The Tree of Life".  A shining reminder that You are in the midst of making all things new, I feel like you have affirmed my pathway of artistic and creative endeavors.  I am filled with peace.

Painting, "The Tree of Life" by Trista Wynne

In the same day, as I opened the door to walk onto our back patio, I noticed that the bulbs I planted shortly after we arrived in this place are now beginning to sprout!  I am so very thankful for these signs of new life and promise.  These simple signs remind me of your presence, even in the swirling questions regarding my purpose and the reasons for moving back to my childhood hometown.

The questions remain, but at least I don't feel like You are very far away.  Even if I have to continue waiting, I am comforted in the reminder that You are here, in the shadows and fog.  You are watching and waiting right alongside of me.

Perhaps that is the reminder that you gave during the epiphany so many years ago -- a sign of your love and light, your very Presence wrapped in human flesh, shining in the midst of the dark night.  You are not so very far from any of us, are you?  For all of these signs of new light and life, thank you.

Photo by Trista Wynne

Praise for Rest

Beloved ~

Thank You for this wonderful weekend filled with music-making, fellowship, rest, photography and peace.  Thank You for time with my family, time with my husband, time to myself, time with other musicians, time with other theologians, time with spiritual guides, time with our snugly kitties and time with You.  I am deeply grateful for this time.

I loved watching the kitties dart about in the chilly sunshine outside on our patio, and soaking in the sunny windowsill above the heater afterwards to warm up.  I loved playing silly games with my husband for several hours last night while we reclined together on the couch.  I loved meandering though the Chinese Garden in Portland earlier today and taking pictures with my husband along the way.

I loved having time to sit and rock in mom's rocking chair, reclining by my daddy's side and sharing funny memories together while they had their milkshakes and we had our burgers.  I loved sharing our gifts of music on Saturday and Sunday mornings to help Your peoples to worship You.  I love having people with whom to make music and share stories and consider Your works and words and love.

This four-day weekend was truly a blessing!  And Your sun shone through almost all of it.  For Your light I am incredibly grateful.  For this time, I am thankful.  For the people in my life, I am deeply thankful.  For the time I had with You on a long walk yesterday, I am very thankful.  For my degree which arrived in the mail this weekend, I am thankful.

I am simply thankful.

What Does it Mean to Trust You?

Beloved,

One of my dear friends recently shared how difficult it is to trust You, especially in times of transition.  This one does believe that things will work out and has experienced your faithfulness and provision on several occasions and yet still finds it difficult to trust.  This friend is not alone.  Countless others have conversed with me about the difficulty they have trusting You.  For many, it's easier to not believe that You exist at all than it is to examine what it means when we use the phrase, "God is good".

Like my friend and countless others, I, too, have difficulty trusting You.  It is hard to admit that at the end of my seminary studies I may be no closer to comprehension or faith or trust than I was at the beginning.

Something, however, has shifted.  This time of study, of fellowship, of exploration of Your Community -- it has shifted my perspective.  As of yet, I cannot articulate how.

Born to be a Healer

Psalm 139:13
Photo by friend Justin Foltz
Used with permission.

One of my dear friends and prayer partners who is working as a Bible translator in Asia mailed a special book to me for the holidays.  I just received it yesterday.  The book is entitled Whispers of His Word: Encountering Jesus.  It is a journal with brief verses and writing prompts to focus us in on the heart of God.

Last night I read the introduction and turned to the first entry page.  There I found Psalm 139:13.

For You created my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother's womb.

The prayer prompt begins by addressing our Lord as the creative, loving father who crafted us in our mother's womb and knew every fiber of our being before we even took our first breath beginning a journey of self-discovery that lasts throughout our lives.  Daddy, Papa, Abba, You made me so wonderful.  Why?

The lines in the journal remained blank as I simply breathed deeply and asked the Holy Spirit to come and touch me:   

Come, Sophia, Creative Energy, Dancing Child.  
Come, draw near and whisper in my ear.  
Come, draw close, and fill me with Your presence.  
Come, and let me draw near to You.

A Cry for Justice, Mercy & Steadfast Love

God,
Why do You allow the torture, abuse, rape and disposal of Your children?!  Why are Your poor creatures going through the same without a voice?! What were You thinking when You put humans in charge?  We have ruined Your good creation while You keep Yourself at a distance remaining safe and untouched.

Where are You?!

Why don't You intervene?  Will You look upon the plight of the poor, the child, the victim, the animal and take notice of them?  Or will You ignore our cries for yet another generation?

Rouse Yourself!  Wake up!  Turn and see and hear!  Come to rescue us from one another!  Come and rescue us from ourselves!

Your Steadfast Love Endures Forever: A Prayer of Confession & Remembrance

"A Love Note" - Photo by Trista Wynne

As I study the tenants of Islam this week, and continue my examination of ethics and reflection on Your Word, dear Lord, I am reminded of how great Your endless, steadfast love is towards all peoples, and I am so very grateful that because of Jesus, I, and all peoples, can call You Papa!

Thank You for my nephew's safe return home! Thank You for all of Your traveling mercies and protection, love and provision and all that You have been doing about which we have no idea. Thank You for Your hands of grace all over our lives and for the Presence of Your Spirit. Thank You, Lord, for shaping our lives in ways that we wouldn't ever have had the capacity to imagine. I trust that the closing doors around me are guiding me closer to a path that is for Your glory. Thank You for the encouragement that this trust brings, and for the gift of Your Spirit who enables us to trust You.

Thank You for Your faithfulness to our relationship; even when I falter or turn away, still You call to me. You are indeed the One who calls me “beloved” even though You are Lover of all. You are as committed to the murderer as to the mystic, as compassionate to the oppressor as to the oppressed, as passionate for the drug dealer as for the devout. Your ways are far above me, Lord, Your steadfast, all-encompassing love is beyond compare! Surely there is none like You, o Lord, Beloved who created all things! You are the God Most High & Holy who also chose to enter into the world encompassed in flesh, infusing every fiber of that human body with Your presence. Through the actions of being born, living, walking, teaching, healing, working, touching, dying, being buried and rising up again on the third day, and then appearing to many people before returning to Your throne above all which You had made, You, o Lord, have given the greatest revelation of Yourself as the Great Lover. You promised to send another part of Yourself, Your very Breath, the Spirit of Life, Wisdom and Truth who has come to dwell within Your many peoples, continuing the work of drawing all of creation back into relationship with You, even to this very day. You are the Most Devoted of all lovers, Beloved! How marvelous You are in all of Your works!

Oh how we love to speak of love; how often we speak of romance! But far beyond all human endeavors, Your passion surpasses us all! Of, if we only would all be filled to the point of overflowing with Your steadfast love, Beloved! Such peace and self-less giving would be found throughout the world! I long for healing and harmony for all living things and for all of creation and humanity to be restored. Until that day, I will hope in You, Beloved, and I will teach others to do the same, in Jesus’ name, through the Holy Spirit, amen.

On the Letter to Galatians and the Politics of the Time

In reading Galatians Reimagined:Reading through the Eyes of the Vanquished, I find compelling argument that Paul’s letter to the Galatians might have less to do with law and grace and more to do with the political structures of his time than I had ever been taught before. We are being challenged, both by our professor and by this author, to step back in time and to attempt to read Galatians as it might have originally been heard by the recipients. I feel right now that several lifetimes might not give us enough time to research the original message of this (or any) Scripture, let alone to observe our contemporary context enough to speak the heart language of the current listener/reader. Still, we are called to this task as ministers, and as our professor says, we can only do as much as we can do, but we must still attempt to do it well.

I do wonder though, what sort of sermon might develop through this “new” political lens, and to whom it might be relevant. Perhaps to us, who are part of the new Rome, it serves as a reminder that our capitalist, self-idolizing society, despite our claims as the “best country in the world” or as “the new Promised Land”, is on the same level as every other country in God’s eyes. Maybe to those who are under our oppressive dominance it serves as a message of inspiration and hope while to us it is a critique and correction.

I wonder if those who are in positions of power can read without their own perceptions getting in the way. (History seems to have shown otherwise.) Can we, those of us who are part of the dominant society, really read, as Kahl calls us to: with the eyes of the vanquished? It is likely that we cannot do so without relinquishing our power, or rather, without letting our preconceived notions of who we are be re-shaped by the only One who really ought to have any power in the world. Can we read with the eyes of the vanquished? Are we willing?

Sleeping In Saves the New Quarter

Well, the new quarter began today. After the great tiredness I felt at the end of last term I thought I would never be caught up on my sleep. My good friend, who is a natropathic doctor, posted a blog entry on the importance of sleep in proactive healthcare and prevention.  I read it just as I was nearing the end of the term and found myself mourning the loss of a good night's sleep. The days felt long and dreary and the nights felt short and fretful. But before I knew it, my papers and finals and journals were all complete and I was thrown into Spring Break nearly a week early, rewarded for my hearty efforts and nearly-sleepless nights. As I type this evening I simply want to note what a difference a few good nights of sleep can make!

Today, after nearly two full weeks off, I began the new term. As I drove across the bridge into Seattle the sun broke through the clouds and I found myself singing joyful songs of praise and thanksgiving for the gifts of friendship and learning. I let a few straggling cars into the turning lane and was delighted in the colors of the opening flowers by the side of the road; even the dandilions and lost drivers seemed to be a Divine blessing. Those are not exactly my thoughts when the nights are too short, but today, after several full nights of sleep and a long weekend away, visiting family with my husband, I can say that all feels well.

We have three students who are taking their first class at FNW in American Church History and I am delighted to be of some assistance to them. Now that I have been at FNW for two terms full time and have been balancing work, school, family and church, (though admittedly I'm still lacking in keeping connected with friends outside of school and sometimes get a little sleep-deprived) I feel equipped enough to share my experiences (even though I'm still relatively new to the school) with them and am excited to be in a position of mentorship. Mentoring is one of my giftings and something for which I am passionate. I love to care for others and to assist them along their life's journey, particularly when I have recently been in similar shoes as theirs.

I pray that our Lord might work through me and the other folks in the class who have been around for a while so that our community might be more cohesive and supportive. I pray that our new quarter might be filled with joy and love and laughter and learning, and that we all might benefit greatly from our time at FNW. I pray for our smaller Systematic Theology course, that we might be more fully equipped to be church leaders as we discern what the definition and purpose of church is, and that as we look toward the end time study of eschatology we shall be filled with the great Christian hope that, as Julian of Norwich says, "all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well".

Today marks a most excellent beginning to the new quarter! Sleeping in certainly has saved the day.

Starting Fresh

I have been AWOL from the blog world for some time now. Sorry. I'd like to begin anew and attempt to keep track of my joys and sorrows as I continue working on my MDiv at Fuller Seminary Northwest, (hereafter referred to as FNW) nannying part time, participating in worship as part of the Frankincense Community, painting, singing and songwriting, and nurturing my relationship with my husband. I'll do my best to stay on top of things and to post regular updates for family and friends here.

Shalom.