Flip it on & Turn it Up: A Prayer in the Winter

Precious Beloved ~

How very grateful I am that we have access to running water!  Indoor plumbing, especially the toilet and shower, and electricity, particularly the heat and stove, are often taken for granted in our society.  In the winter particularly, if any one of these things runs awry, we feel the effects right away and are quick to lament.  Before the cries of lament, Lord, I just want to say thank You.

Sighing over the False Prophets

Bless the Lord, my soul,
and bless God's holy name.
Bless the Lord, my soul,
who leads me into life.

Beloved,
You do lead us into life.  You came so that we might have life and have it abundantly.  You have given us a Spirit of love that casts out fear.  You are our refuge in time of trouble and a fortress in whom we find shelter and steadfast love.

O Lord, You do not desire oppression.  Tyranny and coercion are detestable in Your sight.  When Your disciples fought among themselves about who ought to have more power and influence, you clearly stated that this power struggle has no place in Your Kingdom.   Why then, do we insist on stratifying ourselves and claiming that our caste system within the family of God has Your blessing?

A Cry for Justice, Mercy & Steadfast Love

God,
Why do You allow the torture, abuse, rape and disposal of Your children?!  Why are Your poor creatures going through the same without a voice?! What were You thinking when You put humans in charge?  We have ruined Your good creation while You keep Yourself at a distance remaining safe and untouched.

Where are You?!

Why don't You intervene?  Will You look upon the plight of the poor, the child, the victim, the animal and take notice of them?  Or will You ignore our cries for yet another generation?

Rouse Yourself!  Wake up!  Turn and see and hear!  Come to rescue us from one another!  Come and rescue us from ourselves!

Searching for You outside the Church Walls

Ah, Lord,

You know my heart!  I just want to find a community that lives out Your love and proclaims freedom and peace.  After the church visit that I have recently had, my heart is saddened, but still, I continue to search for you.  Surely it shouldn't be this hard to find unharnessed love!

Why should I have to look any farther than the church that claims to be following You, Lord Jesus?  Why must I look beyond the people who claim to know You in order to find justice, peace and steadfast love?  I just don't understand.  I wish I could take people at their word, and that the one who claims to be a Christian would walk in Your way: loving You with their whole being, and loving their neighbors (with a wide definition!) as much as they love themselves.

For the Unnamed Infant

I haven't updated my prayer blog in a whole month.  I have entries written down, but not yet electronically recorded.  This morning's post is flowing spontaneously into the computer, and I ask you to join me in prayer.

One of my dear friends is serving as a missionary in an Asian province and we have received a special request to pray for a premature infant who has captured the hearts of those with whom this friend works.  The infant is, as of yet, unnamed.  The infant mortality rate is so high in this area that most infants are not named until it is evident that they will survive.  It was not all that long ago, historically speaking, that people in our country also refrained from naming their children until they had survived for several months or even the first year or two.  Living in a state of uncertainty and refraining from attachment to a child as a means of self-preservation must be devastating.  One can imagine that despair is the average feeling in such a time and place.

Extreme Humility

This post was composed last Wednesday as I reflected on the icon of extreme humility in St Thomas' chapel, but I wanted to include a photo when I shared it and didn't have my camera with me at the time.  So, now that I have the icon to show you, please ponder along with my prayer below.

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Growing in the Light

Hello, Beloved.

My heart is much more at peace this evening than it was just a couple of days ago.  You have granted a good sliver of sunshine both days, and I was able to get out and walk without a sweatshirt for three days in a row, at least for a while.  I look forward to having several days in a row where I won't even think about putting on a sweatshirt or sweater.  Perhaps those days are not so very far away.

Walking the Way

Oh Lord,

I can't sleep tonight.  I'm angry!  I'm angry that I can't find a place to land in the Church.  I'm angry that I'm feeling alone, and that so many people are arguing with one another over whose Church it really is.  The details are in my journal this evening, but there are areas in the churches around me that are making me hurt, and because I feel hurt I write in anger.  It's not directed at anyone but You, because You are the only one that can handle the depth of my emotions. 

*sigh*

Lord, please, give Your Church guidance, vision and inspiration.  We are so lost.  People around here don't know You because we in the Church are so focused on digging our heels into the ground and fighting one another.  We use manipulative techniques to try and deprive each other of power.  We don't recognize any denominations except our own.  We can't even seem to reconcile differences within our own congregations.

Oh Lord, have mercy!

Ah, Lord, I feel like my ministerial visioning is a bit like the weather in Seattle.  I get a glimpse of hope, sunshine and clarity, and then the rainclouds of reality come and separate me from the vision for a while.  The vision always comes back, and I know it's there in the distance, but there are days that are darker than others, and there are times when the clouds are simply very, very heavy.

Today is one of those days, Beloved.

I'm glad that You are with me today.  I'm glad that You walk me through the dark valley when I'm there, and that You allow me to wrestle with You when I'm angry with Your peoples.  Forgive me for the times that I take my anger out on them instead of You.  Help me to be more creative with my interactions, and to use my imagination to heal where woundedness is clearly evident.

Lord, help us to reconcile with one another.  Help Your peoples to aim for unity.  I know that we miss the mark; that's why You came, Lord Jesus.  With Your help, Beloved, we can improve our aim.  In time, our practice of faith will become healthier in Your hands.  One day we will be right on target, and walking the Way which You have given to us.

I hope that day comes soon.

Show me, Sophia-Spirit, what I can do to help the world draw closer to our Beloved.  I desire to work with You, not against You.  Help me to see through Your eyes.  Amen.

A Child's Eucharistic Celebration

Hear O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord alone.  You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might.  Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart.  Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise.  Bind them as a sign on your hand, fix them as an emblem on your forehead, and write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (Deut. 6:4-9)

This morning, the preschooler that I nanny, who has just celebrated his third birthday, celebrated his first Eucharist.  We weren't in a church building.  There wasn't a lot of music or long prayers or chanting.  Instead, his father and I were eating breakfast with him and watching the birds outside the window.

A Cup of Contentment

As I continue my summer vacation, or more precisely, as I begin to relax into the atmosphere of an unhurried relaxation period, I find myself re-entering contemplation.  I was never very far from it, but there are times in the school year when contemplation must be placed to the side and a paper must be written despite not coming to a satisfactory conclusion.  The more schooling I receive, the more I am aware that I have an insatiable appetite for learning.  There is always more room to grow, and always deeper to dig.  Perhaps no paper is truly ever finished.  Time constraints and word counts place limitations on our expression, but each new class stimulates my mind and heart in ways that intimacy and passion arouse the body.  What a precious gift it is to be able to attend seminary!

Some people will ask me when I will be done.  I've even caught myself wondering this from time to time.  But graduation is not the goal.  Ordination is not even the end.  No.  Even those things are just marking places of new beginning.

A Lovely Visit

Beloved,

You have created us to be in community, to find friends and to be in relationship with other human beings.  I am so blessed to have been visited by one of your beautiful daughters this afternoon.  In all the months that it has been since my husband and I have been away from the church we attended for several years, this was the first time that one of the congregants have contacted us directly and asked to simply get together.  What a joy it was to have her over!  And what a delightful surprise for her to bring me flowers and cookies, too! 

Summertime Serenity

Beloved,

As I delight in the freedom that comes from accomplishing all that needed to be done before the end of the term, I also bask in the light of the sunshine. Thank You, dear Lord, for this vibrantly beautiful day! Thank you for the stretching kitties basking in the light. Thank You for the fluttering sparrows and burrowing bunnies that my neighbor and I saw on our walk today.

A New Creation: Life, Death & Resurrection for All

Beloved,

These last few days have been filled to the brim with contemplations regarding life, death and the communion of saints.  Such contemplations and percolations have been generated by a great many things even over the last few years, to be sure.  Particularly poignant have been the experiences of loss of loved ones, the study of the Scriptures and church history, the immersion into zombie culture that my husband and I have entered in Seattle, and observations we have of the world and society around us. 

There is much confusion in our culture about what constitutes life and what death truly is.  Your word has much to add to this discussion.  I pray, Dear One, that the hope found in Your promises will be preached, and that new life will be openly received here in this place.

Church: Branches, Zombies, Fire & Life

Beloved,

My allegiance is to You above all.  I trust that You are in Your Church, no matter how divided it may seem.  I wish, Lord, that denominational (and non-denominational) branches would not exclude one another, but would have more interaction.  Each individual congregation strives for their own vision, their own purpose, and their own future.  Do they not realize that we are all one in You?

"Thirsty Tree" - Photo by Trista Wynne

This pointless striving against one another, whether overtly or in undercurrents, has sadly been our legacy from the beginning.

What do You Have in Your Hands?

The question posed by the pastor at Westminster Chapel this morning echoes through my heart.  What do we have in our hands, bodies, minds, spirits, talents and being that the Lord desires to use?  What are the limitations we impose upon ourselves?  God has gifted us with a vast array of talents and personality traits.  All of them can be used for God’s glory.  How do our perceived limitations get in the way?  Maybe we have much more to offer than we believe.  What would the Lord like to do in, with and through us?

"Working Hands" - Photo by Matthew Wynne

I wonder about these things as I prepare to lay my head against the pillow this evening.  Just a few short hours ago we found ourselves in the Fremont Abbey with the Church of the Apostles.  The speaker there reflected on Jesus’ assertions from the gospel of John. “I am the good shepherd.”  “I am the door.”  These images all give us clues as to what our Lord is like.

The Gift of Light: A Simple Poem of Thanks for Sun, Song & Sharing

Beloved,

The sweet sunshine settles along the horizon
another day is at an end,
I enter Your chamber to thank You
 
You bless us with the gift of life, my Love
and the sensuous joy of light
our hearts are lifted in gratitude for all
 
Drumming and dancing, our bodies rejoice
sun on our faces and birds all around,
our spirits are filled with delight
 
A contented purr resounds
as the windows are flung open wide
the kitties delightedly stretch and mew
 
A gentle caress from the cherry blossom
the sensuous aroma of the wild flower
sweet perfumes of incense grace the afternoon

The brush in my hand strokes the canvas
divine delicacies dance on our tongues
we happily doze in the warmth of Your light

"Blossoming Joy" - Photo by Trista Wynne

Thank You, Beloved, for the light of this day and the music we made together!

May our eyes be opened to whatever You desire to show us. 
May our minds be prepared for all that You want to reveal. 
May our hearts and spirits pursue You above all else. 
And may our bodies be vessels of Your love. 
In Jesus’ name, amen.

Joining together of Old and New: Praying for Healing and Unity of the Generations in the Church of Christ

"Strong Roots" - Photo by Trista Wynne

Beloved,

My heart is downcast within me.  I miss my time with my grandma, and I long for encouraging interactions with the elder generations around me.  You graciously have provided me with several neighbors with whom I am interacting on a regular basis who are in the generation before me, and we learn so much from one another.  I do, however, long for the wisdom and encouragement that came from my grandma.  With her I felt safe and accepted for who I was.  I was never afraid to admit a wrongdoing or a mistake, for we could often laugh together about something similar she had done when she was my age.  She had many stories to tell me that brought history to life.  I always learned something new when we were together.  She deeply valued our relationship as well. 

My stories and adventures brought her great joy and she was always delighted to hear about the new things that I tried.  We even had many adventures where we tried new things together.  New recipes and outdoor exploring sites came forth out of our mutual desire to learn and to grow.  She saw You in me, and she listened attentively as I explored the truths that Your Spirit was speaking.  We prayed together often, and she opened up Scriptures to me in exciting, tangible ways through her life stories.  We were respected, valued and loved.  Perhaps this is why, even though we didn’t see one another every week, when we were together, it was as though we had never parted.  I look forward to the time when we will be reunited together in Your Holy Kingdom, when all things are made new in the fullness of time.

"New Breath" - Photo by Trista Wynne

My heart is downcast, though, because relationships like this are hard to come by in Your Church today.  The elder members neglect to encourage the younger generations and neither group respects the other.  I see the need for something new for Your Church to enter into the future, but know that You have not equipped me for building or sustaining; You have created me as a visionary, a dreamer, a creative spirit whose exuberance and delight in You might inspire others to bring forth this new thing that is percolating on the edges of the present day.  And so, dear Lord, I invite others to join me in the following prayer so that we might enter into this glorious future well-equipped for the mission work that You have given Your peoples to accomplish.  We pray for unity and healing so that the world may know that You are Love!

We pray, dear Lord, that you might bring the generations throughout your Church together so that the younger generations might receive encouragement and mentoring, and the older generations might feel appreciated and valued.  We pray for healing of the wounds which each party has inflicted upon the other.  Wherever we have contributed to these wounds, we pray for grace and forgiveness.  Grant us the wisdom and the courage to join together, to share our stories and to listen prayerfully to one another so that together we can enter into the blessed future that You are preparing for your worldwide Church.  We pray for denominational and generational borders to gently fade so that a new, vibrant, united Church might be seen and that, as Your Beloved Son prayed, we might be known by our love of one another. 

"Beauty in New Life" - Photo by Trista Wynne

May You, O Lord, raise up from among us prophets and visionaries, builders and activists, and developers of sustainability.  May we work together so that future generations will look back upon our time and see Your Sophia-Spirit moving through what we pray, say and do together.  May it all be for our Beloved's glory in Christ Jesus.

Empowered by the Holy Spirit, we pray this in the name of Jesus the Christ, and we desire Your glory above our own.  Amen.

Christ is Risen! Alleluia!

Ah Beloved,

Today we celebrate Your resurrection from the grave! We lift songs and dance and all kinds of exuberance as we remember all that You have accomplished through Your birth, life, death, resurrection and ascension. We look forward to the time when You will come again to complete Your new creation. Maranatha! Come, Lord Jesus! Amen.



Although the audio quality is a little low, (a simple voice recorder was left in the pews while we prepared to lead this song) I still think you'll enjoy it. The worship team, bell choir, organist and choral groups of the church all worked together to craft this 2009 version of a familiar Easter hymn. Special thanks to the people of St Peter's and Frankincense for their love and prayers over the years. We remember our time together fondly.

The video here visually walks through Palm Sunday and the slowly darkening week we have just been through. Beginning with the palm fronds, then progressing through images of fall, and the bitter cold of winter, I wanted to remember through pictures the journey of Holy Week. The sun sets and photos from a local cemetery remind us of the sad day when our Lord was crucified, died and was buried. These images soon give way, following a burst of lightning, to the glorious joy of new life that we find in the resurrection.

A brilliant display of springtime color reminds us that we are in the season of growth. We now find ourselves looking forward to the delightful days of summer, just as we await the fullness of time when all things are finally made new, and there is no more pain, sorrow, loss, war or bloodshed. We are in an in between time, somewhere between light and shadows, living as fully as we can in the here and now while always keeping a watchful eye for the unfolding of the glorious Kingdom of our Beloved.

Blessings to you all on this most holy of days.

Happy Easter, 2011.

Poured out for All: Mary’s Gift and Steadfast Devotion

Beloved,

As I smooth a sweet smelling lotion over my dry, cracked hands, I consider Mary of Bethany and her tender gift of adoration, compassion and grief.  On account of her outpouring, the whole room was filled with a fragrant perfume.  It must have clung to everyone who was present!  Like the cedar smoke of a campfire lingers on our skin, clothes and hair, this heady perfume must have remained with everyone in Your presence for days.

"Rising Smoke" - Photo by Trista Wynne

How long were You scented with Mary’s oil, Beloved?  Did it linger on You as You traveled?  Did the smell turn heads as You walked past?  What would they have been thinking?

Was the scent still with You in the upper room as You gathered with the disciples and their families?  Did any of the children ask about it?  Did they breathe You in as You laid Yourhands on them in blessing?

Perhaps the aroma of Mary’s anointing was waning as You entered the garden.  Or perhaps, in Your deepest anguish, as blood sweat and tears mingled, her simple gift drifted up to comfort You.

Oh Beloved, if only Mary had been with You in the garden!  She would have held You while You shook.  She would have let Your tears fall into her hands instead of onto the cold, hard ground of the olive grove. 

But maybe her gift was enough.  Maybe it gave You the courage to finish what You knew was Yours to accomplish.  Maybe she was there in her own way.

A simple gift, an extravagant gift, this wasteful, wondrous, gift of devotion and service was poured out for You.  And then, You, in turn, were poured out for us all.  Mary of Bethany will always be remembered, as will You.  The gift was a beautiful thing indeed.

Preparing for New Life: Creation in Utero at Passover

Beloved,

As I read Matthew’s account of the gathering for Your final Passover meal, my dear friend is on her way to the hospital to deliver her youngest child.  My time is near.  Make the preparations.  Your words are echoed on the lips and in the keystrokes of my dear friend, the sweet mother, during the final days of her pregnancy.

A man with a water jar will meet you…tell him My time is near.  Your words flow forth just after a woman has poured out her entire life savings onto Your feet.  An alabaster jar of sweetly perfumed oil drenched Your tired feet and soothed Your aching muscles, and this dear woman freely gave her complete devotion through her kisses and tears.  She is preparing long before Your male companions, and You invite them to join in her work so that You can accomplish all that You have been given to do.

"New Life Springing Forth" - Photo by Trista Wynne

Washing, anointing, feeding, serving – these are the things that my dear friend has been doing in preparation for the new life that is coming into the world.  And now, having just spoken of Yourself as a desolate Mother Hen who laments the scattering of her chicks, You are doing the same.  As the ultimate expression of humanity, You embody masculine and feminine together unashamedly.  You, Divine Mother Jesus, are preparing for the new life that is coming.  The birthing process will be painful, and You will suffer greatly, but as You say, when the mother’s eyes behold her child, she forgets all of the pain.  She only feels love and joy.

May Your new creation come to know how very much we are all loved, O Mothering God!   May we know how much joy we bring to You!  May we all come to You for True Food and True Drink, and may we teach others to do the same, through the Holy Spirit, amen.

Palms, Presence and Unexpected Joy

Ah Beloved,

Thank You for Your presence at the chapel this morning!  Sophia-Spirit, You flowed through the message and music, speaking to my husband and I both in ways that were unexpected and surprising.  We entered that place feeling a little awkward, but soon felt welcomed.  Since the worshipping area was close to the front doors, it was easy to see where to go, and the combination of worship and arts was clearly evident from the beginning.  Both of these things were very appealing to us.

There were a few things that made me think I’d rather go elsewhere, like the loudness of the music and the strange placement of the early offering.  For the first half of the message, I felt like I was listening to one of my brothers tell a story.  The pastor jumped all over the place, citing Bible passages from Hebrews, Philippians, Genesis, Jonah and John.  My mind was a metal bal inside a pinball machine!  But then, somewhere about two-thirds of the way in, the pastor suddenly seemed to connect with Your Spirit of Peace, and clarity came.  The last portion of the sermon was poignant, and exactly what we needed to hear today.

Then we prayed the prayer that You taught Your disciples, and many hands around us were lifted.  Your Presence was tangibly felt, and complete surrender fell upon everyone in the crowd.  In those moments following the sermon and the prayer, the room seemed to vibrate with energy, and then, when the band began to play, every hair on my body stood on end.  I don’t think a single person stood still in that room.  We couldn’t!  You were there!  My husband’s hand met mine, and we were practically elevated off the floor!  What energy!

What a gift!  What an unexpected gift!  Ah, Beloved King of kings, how awesome it was to worship you in a way that used our entire being!  To sing to you with the kind of music that naturally makes us want to dance fully connects our heads, hearts and bodies in worship.  We were so blessed to receive Your Presence today.  And I am humbled, because You came and met us where we least expected it.  The theology at that church is very different than mine, and they have restrictive burdens that I feel are highly unnecessary, but even there You are working. 

"Unexpected Beauty" - Photo by Trista Wynne

You come where we least expect You, and You act in loving kindness, granting Your Presence even to those who do not understand.  I suppose this unexpected Presence is what Palm Sunday is all about, for You entered Jerusalem not as the messiah hell-bent on war and overthrowing the oppressive powers, but as the gentle King of the Universe, humble and riding on a donkey.  You came in peace, knowing that You had the rest of eternity to make all things right.  Your presence then came as a surprise, even to those who knew You best; so it is even today.

Blessed King, may we be continually surprised by Your loving kindness for all of creation, and may we do our best to reflect this same unrequited love to all, amen.

What then shall We say? You Alone Know, O Lord!

Beloved Jesus ~

No one in Your time, save for Mary of Bethany, seemed to understand the gravity of the time You found Yourself in during the last days of Your earthly life. How could they comprehend what they had never before seen? What could You use as an illustration of the events that were about to unfold? How could it possibly make sense, even to those who followed You so closely?

The work which our Father had given for You to accomplish was new and strange to them. The ministry You did and the love You gave was like nothing they had ever experienced, but was not without connection to the work of our Father throughout history. How could You describe what You were given to accomplish? The analogies simply fell short of the reality; and they still do today.

Ah Beloved, there is not one person who fully comprehends all that You accomplished through Your incarnation. Your birth, life, death and resurrection, although foretold in bits and pieces of vision through the prophets of old, still caught everyone by surprise when it all came to pass. No one quite understood what You were doing while they were in Your presence, but they all knew that something was different about You.

They were intrigued and excited, or perhaps a bit nervous and skeptical. But mostly the people around You were simply hungry for truth, love and freedom. They were feeling abandoned or neglected and trapped in oppressive circumstances. Most of all, they were lacking hope.

Likewise, we who are entering ministry today find ourselves surrounded by people in similar circumstances. The people we are called to work with, to tend to, and to feed, are Your peoples who have lost sight of Your direction or have not yet been introduced to Your freedom and love. We are called to search for those who are wandering far from the way that leads to life. We are called to bring light to a darkened world and hope to those who are filled with dread at the thoughts of the future. We are called to bring healing and a message of Your reconciliation to a world filled with war, violence and bloodshed. You have given us to be healing balm to a wounded, suffering world.



"Life in the Midst of Death" - Photo by Trista Wynne

 How then shall we speak to them, Beloved? What then shall we say? How will our pathways be like, and unlike, Yours? Oh Lord, You alone know!

As we prepare to enter our calling more deeply, may we be humble and willing to accept correction when the Spirit deems it necessary, and resilient enough to let unwarranted criticism roll of our backs. May we be soft enough to be approachable, and strong enough to stand firm when You call us to, O Lord. May Your Sophia-Spirit breathe wisdom into us so that we can respond gently and peaceably in all the times and spaces where such responses are needed. May all that we are, and all that we do, be for Your glory, Beloved; may the world come to know the Father who sent us in the first place, in Your name, amen.

Hope & Healing on the Horizon: Reflecting the Day to Come in the Present Day



Blessed Creator, Lover Divine ~

Thank You for the gifts of music, rhythm, friendship, connection, creativity and ingenuity! Each of these have played significant roles throughout this weekend. The haunting melodies of the women’s choir on Friday, the heartbeat rhythm of the sacred drumming circle Saturday and the fluttering of the violin strings from the service this morning all ebb and flow together in my spirit’s inner ear. For these sounds, I am very grateful.

These last three days have filled me with joy and left me hungry for more: more music, more mystery, more marvelous connections with You, Your creation and Your peoples! Lord, in all of these things I find myself drinking deeply from Your wellspring of life and desiring more of You. What joys I discover, both inside and outside of the Church, and what a palpable sense of Your presence I feel! Where could I go where You are not present? In the adoration from a young child, in the whispering wind in the willow, in the purr of our warm kitties, You are there. In the thundering rainstorm, in the calm that follows, in the gentle caress of a passionate lover, You are there. And even in the times when we do not know, perhaps most especially in the places we least expect, You, Beloved, are there.


"A Hidden Light Bursting Forth" - Photo by Trista Wynne

 I consider the times of abandonment, where waves of loss, anger, shame or abuse overshadow the love and light that You desire to share. There are horrors in this world that we would rather not know, or see, or imagine, or remember, but even in these times and places, You are there. How You are working to heal the wounds which scar us all, we cannot always see or know, but still You are there. Why some people die and others remain, we do not always understand, but still, O Lord, You are there. And why some tyrants lead for so long or corruption seems so rampant, we cannot fathom, but even there, even in those times, You are there.

You are there, but You are not silent. You are there, but You do not remain hidden. In the midst of our deepest trials: the shaking of the earth, the desolation of Your planet, the cruel treatment of our loved ones, in these times You are actively working to plant seeds of new life. Seeds of hope begin to sprout, desire for life and peace rises, and Your Sophia-Spirit breathes afresh into all of these situations. Even now She is working to bring forth assurance that Your creation is not forsaken, but in the process of being made new. She grants us visions of justice, of mercy, of peace and provision for all through the love which finds its origins in Jesus.

In the midst of the direst of circumstances, You, O Lord, are present and working to prepare the way for Your new Day, a day we can only imagine in part. You have given us glimpses through simple and complex word-pictures granted through Your prophets old and new. Despite their words, we sometimes forget the hope of what is yet to come. We neglect to actively shape our present reality to reflect Your Kingdom on the earth. Forgive us, renew us, and grant us the courage and wisdom to fully live the lives You gave to us, and to walk in Your way of love, mercy, justice and provision for all.

Ah, Beloved, Your active and creative Sophia-Spirit became clearly evident in Biblical times. May we all learn to be receptive to Her movements today. May we become active reflections of Your new creation in the midst of our present reality. May we seek Your presence of Love and Grace and Peace and Truth wherever You may be found. And may we all come to know how intimately we are connected with one another, with Your creation, and with You through Jesus the Lover of all, amen.

Butterflies, Sunshine & Wide-Eyed Anticipation: Watching for New Life in Lent

Precious Beloved ~

Originally I had a fairly clear plan as to what I would do today, but I was willing to let go of my preconceived ideas of what the day would hold, and the entire day has been tremendously blessed. I trust that this is indicative of my lifelong journey as well, and at this time, of my worship life as we approach this new endeavor and unanticipated pathway. Your Holy Spirit blows where She will, and all I can do is be willing to watch for signs of Her action in the people, earth and creation around me, and to listen to my heart's response in order to find where I am called.

This is what journeying through Lent is all about -- releasing our ideas about what should happen and allowing You to work as You so desire. In Christ we see Your heart, O God! Through the promptings of Sophia-Spirit, all of our theological assertions and analogies simply fall to the ground like the palm branches of holy week; they are trampled so that the seeds of love might be pressed into the ground and a new creation can spring forth as we declare, "Hosanna".

Today, although I had distinct plans of where I would go and to whom I would speak, You, Beloved, had a different idea, and I am so very glad that You did. Through the unanticipated conversations, the blessed sunshine and the wild weather that followed, Your presence was truly palpable. What a lovely tryst it was!

As I grabbed my camera and sprung out into the delightfully sunny afternoon, I had the butterflies in my belly of a young lover who catches a glimpse of the one they long for more than life itself. I thought I might burst with joy and anticipation of the coming thing! Whatever was coming, I knew it was going to be tremendous. So I found the quickest way to enter the garden to capture the radiant reflections of Your glory which infuses each flower with beauty. I could hardly remain in my seat for the car ride, and virtually leapt forth onto the nature trails to soak in Your light.


"Joyful Illumination" - At the Botanical Garden - Photo by Trista Wynne


My mind feels like the earth which is in the midst of being pushed aside for new life to spring forth, and every fiber of my being vibrates with songs of delight. What is this new creation that I sense is coming? What sort of new life will spring forth within, through or around me? Like a child nearing their birthday, or a lover who has been asked to cover their eyes, I wonder, and I yearn, and I dance while I wait.

The storm clouds roll in and rain pours down but still I watch and I dance and I wait. Lightning flashes and thunder sounds, and yet I watch, I dance and I wait. Snow flurries swirl and darkness flows around, and still I watch, I dance and I wait. What is this new life about to spring forth? In Lent, I watch, I dance and I wait.

A Heavenly Chorus: Highlights of Harmony at St Thomas this Morning

The lovely priest at St Thomas invited us to commune with You as our Lover this morning during our reflection time following the homily. Ah, Beloved, You honored us all through that service! We felt a palpable Presence of Your Sophia-Spirit from that moment onward and burst into song after our Eucharistic encounter with Your Christ. The spontaneous blending of voices in perfect harmony made my every hair stand on end and shivers of sheer joy flow from the top of my head to the tips of my toes!

O Beloved! How utterly invigorating it is to be in Your Presence as part of a sacred assembly! What freedom and love flows in this community of Christ!

Thank You, Lord, for this very special community seeking Your way in the heart of Bellevue. Thank You for the gift of Your Spirit and the revelation of Yourself as Lover of All through Jesus the Christ. Truly You are the most precious of all the things we call treasures! In comparison to You, all other things are merely chaff in the wind.

We have done nothing to merit the love and adoration You lavish upon us, yet You hold nothing back! You give Yourself wholly and completely to and for us despite our forgetfulness and neglect of You. We are known to turn away, to close our eyes and ears, or even to violently oppose Your purposes and desires, yet You are constantly found singing Your sacred melody of unrequited love.

And so, today, the moment we turned toward You and entered into the communion of saints through the Eucharist, we found ourselves joining Your love song. Ah, Beloved, when we encounter You fully, we cannot hold silence! Our feet want to dance, our hands want to raise and our voices will not be hindered. Fullness of surrender, wholehearted praise, and complete adoration of You, triune God, gush forth as Your Living Fountain flows through our communal being. Whenever we are connected to You and to each other and to Your creation, truly, Beloved, You are found in that place.

May Your presence be known throughout the earth for all generations, through the Holy Spirit in Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

"Gushing Forth" - Snoqualmie Falls, March 2011 - Photo by Trista Wynne

Intimate Connections: Passions, Prostrations and Prayer in the midst of Lent

"Flowing Waters" - Snoqualmie Falls, March 2011 - Photo by Trista Wynne

Beloved!
How immeasurably great You are!
How precious to me
are Your whispers.

My Lord and my God,
Your presence commands attention.
How majestic
yet personable You are.

Like a passionate lover stands in the doorway
as his beloved calls to him,
so too do You pause
as we are drawing closer, just to hear my voice.

My heartbeat quickens,
my eyes grow wide,
my breath catches;
a single syllable flows from Your lips.

The sound is sheer ecstasy!

I cannot help myself;
I cry out for You.
Every fiber of my being
trembles in anticipation of our union!

How could I ever long for anything else but You?

My thirst for Your Living Spring runs so deep,
not even the seven seas could quench it.
Yet one drop from the Wellspring of Life
satiates my soul.

My hunger for Your Presence is so strong,
not even the grain to the ends of the earth will satisfy.
Yet a single crumb from the Bread of Life
makes me settle like a weaned child near their mother.

O fill me with Your Presence, Lord;
let me taste Your glory!
Bring me into Your chambers
and let me drink You in!

Not one inch of my being goes unexplored
in Your presence;
every part of me
is washed, kissed, anointed with oil.

Heady spices
fill the room;
I am like one intoxicated
with the very best of wines.

Ecstasy!
Light!
Freedom!
Joy!

If only this moment would last forever!

Alas,
I must return to my natural senses
to share what I experience
when I am with You,

for what we share
is not for us alone.
This is the intimacy You desire:
all of creation to be with You.

O that everyone could experience this love and light and freedom!

I long for the day,
Your Day,
when all of creation will know
that is has been made new.

May Your Day come quickly;
may it bring peace,
may justice, joy, security,
love and compassion be upon us all, amen.

The Kingdom, Clay & Embryos in the Womb: Reflecting on Change & Shaping of the Future

Beloved,

Transitions are difficult and hard on the heart even when we know the decisions are right. With Frankincense shifting to an “unplugged” version of meeting with lower frequency, the majority of our Sunday evenings will open up but it means we must say farewell to the way things have been. Maybe this will enable me to do the missiological work which You have been fairly clearly prompting me to do since You have been developing in me a heart for the un-churched. Maybe You have something completely different in store for us all than we had envisioned for ourselves. Maybe this is true for more than simply the place in which we worship; maybe it is true of our lives as well.

In a sermon given last week by our dear friend and pastor in Beaverton, the image of being a lump of clay was lifted up as one of the most difficult yet necessary ways in which we as human beings are referenced in the Bible. We, as he said, have a hard time accepting this reality, for we are indoctrinated by our culture to believe that we do (or should) control our own movements and shaping. Simply laying in Your hands and allowing You to mold us into something new is counter-intuitive to us once we emerge from the womb.

"In the Potter's Hands" - Photo by Trista Wynne

No wonder You said we must be born anew to enter the Kingdom! And no wonder Lady Julian saw all of creation as encompassed in Your Divine womb! We must return to a place of complete connection with You so that we can be birthed into a new life of trust, freedom and abundance. As long as we are trying to shape ourselves, we are not relying on You, and so we are not able to reach our full potential because only You know what fullness of life really means.

I know, Beloved, many who read the rest of this prayer will have difficulty joining me in this exercise of trust since the earthquakes in Japan and the Tsunamis that followed are still so fresh in our minds. News of wars, famines and pestilence floods our minds when we turn on our electronics, and we find ourselves battling depression, anxiety and all sorts of disharmony. But in a world of tension and fear, where chaos and disturbance threaten the shalom You so deeply desire, I feel You calling me, and calling the world, to seek comfort in You. Although there are forces acting in opposition to Your desires for peace, health and wholeness, whenever Your messengers of truth come into the world, their greeting is always “fear not”. May we all learn to live in fullness of trust that in the end You will make everything right.

And so, dear Potter, desiring to trust You more and desiring to enter the fullness of the Kingdom while becoming more fully present here on the earth, I simply lay down my expectations of myself, of my future, of my relationships, of my worshipping community, and of the world around me. May I, and all that I carry, be as clay in Your hands or as an embryo in Your uterus. Let it all take shape as You so desire. Through the Holy Spirit, in Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

Battling the Beloved: How my Heart is won back when I Turn Away

Hello Beloved,

Much is on my mind, not for worries, but mostly for contemplation. At the forefront, though, is the sermon preached by our dear friend and pastor in Beaverton, where we found ourselves beginning Spring Break this weekend. The sermon on trust, the songs about being clay in Your hands, and their combined calling to release ourselves into Your arms for Your purposes – these are the images on my mind this evening.

Towards the beginning of the service, when the song entitled “The Potter’s Hand” was being sung, I found myself unable to join in the singing. This was odd since it is a favorite song of mine, but my spirit was heavy and I was grieved over the lack of connections and deep friendships in our lives since we followed Your call to move up here to the Seattle area. I didn’t feel particularly willing to become just anything or anyone at that moment in time. You know, Beloved, how I sometimes battle with You in spirit. Thankfully, Your Spirit is kind and compassionate, and gently worked throughout the rest of the service to remind me how much I am valued and loved even by that dear community which is several hours away from us.

"Softness of the Beloved" - Photo by Trista Wynne

The prayers of the people, the sermon, the strong embrace of our dearly loved minister of music, and lengthy hugs from the children (now teenagers) whom I used to nanny for – these all worked together to soften my heart. By the time we were invited to Your table, I was able to let go of the false pretense of control over my life. I simply acknowledge that in this part of the journey, my life and the life of my husband are truly in Your hands. I want to trust You; Lord, please help my lack of trust.

The Way of the Beloved: Journeying through Lent - 1st Sunday 2011

Tonight at Frankincense we read from Genesis, the story of the time when humanity chose a way that was different from the path You laid out. An alternate ending was presented from Rabbi Kushner, one in which there was no decision to turn away. There was simply Eden.

In his alternate ending, there was no extreme sorrow, but pleasure was also lacking. With every need met and no experience of pain or suffering, I wonder if we would ever have grown to love You. Would we have grown to love one another? Would we love ourselves?

What would this life look like if there was no sin or separation or hiding between us? Or are any of these things actually here now? Sin is supposedly the separation from You, but Beloved, is there a place in existence where You are not? The psalmist would contend, and the prophets agree, that such a place does not exist. So what then is sin? Julian says it is of no substance at all. If separation is the definition, then I think she is right, for wherever we travel, You, Beloved, are with us.

"Lenten Feet" - Photo by Trista Wynne

This brings me back to the Genesis passage. What really happened there? Where, if anywhere, did You go when the woman was speaking with the serpent? Were You hidden from sight? Why would You hide when their biggest decision ever was being made?

But this apparent absence is what Lent is about, then, isn’t it? We remember Jesus’ struggle and painful wandering out in the desert during a time of utmost importance in His earthly ministry. In that time were You hidden? The text is silent on the subject, saying neither that You were there, nor that you were absent beyond the physical presence of Christ. We get no clear indication that there was a separation of Your communal nature until the agonizing cry from the cross. But even there, was it separation or perception? Are we simply blinded to Your presence at times? How is it that we can feel so far away from You even when we are found in Your very womb, Dear Mother?

These things are too wonderful for me, Beloved! Still, on account of our intimacy, I am free to ask the questions that burn in my heart this night. What happened in Eden? What happened in the desert? What happened at the cross? What is this road about which we are walking along together? Where might it lead, and is the end really the beginning? How can we be coming back to You, as some theologians might say, if You have never really left us in the first place? Surely You are not far from us, Beloved! Surely we are always near to Your heart, O God!

Perhaps more questions will arise, Dear One, as we continue this Lenten journey together. For now, however, I’m glad to have the freedom to bring my questions to You as I prepare to slumber. I pray that I might be tucked into the fold of Your garment and that I might come closer to hearing and echoing Your heartbeat, Beloved. Oh let us be one as I enter my sleep, amen.

The Divine Feminine

In a way unlike any time prior, I am finding myself noticing the imagery of the feminine in Scripture in intimate detail.  The nourishing actions of a breast-feeding mother, the gentle flutter of a mother hen's wing, the protective shelter of the muscular womb, the intimate passions of the feminine belly -- all of these womanly wonders are attributed to You and to Your prophets across the span of time and space.  How intricately woven is the female body!  How intimately connected to You!

"Tender Strength" - Photo by Trista Wynne

Precious Spirit, You are in the midst of enriching my reading of Your Word and deepening my love for You at every juncture.  The tender caress of the flowers in bloom remind me of Your Feminine Presence.  I am delicate and strong, just like You.  Oh Sophia, Precious Mother, Passionate Lover and Companion of all, thank You.  I am deeply grateful for Your presence, and I await Your timing in the blossoming of my own internal flower as the earth now waits for spring.

The Family Crest: A Reflection on Ash Wednesday

What if our crosses were always visible? No, I’m not talking about the gold-plated ones we chain around our necks after shelling out a bunch of cash! I’m talking about the ones on our foreheads, the ones that the minister signs us with when we are baptized. What if every day was Ash Wednesday and everybody could see the mark of Christ on us all the time? How would that change us? How would our relationships change? How would the perceptions that others have of us be impacted?

"The Family Crest" - Photo by Trista Wynne

Lord, I wonder about Your people – those who go by Your name in this area tend to blend in. We don’t let Your mark be shown except on merchandise. We buy crafts and jewelry and t-shirts and mugs with Your Family Crest, but we neglect the deeper call to reflect the Family Name through our actions and lifestyle.

It seems that we are about as loyal to You as to any brand name or sports team. We can become as defensive regarding creed and liturgy as devoted sports fans or apple users are when their team or product is challenged. And yet, sadly, that defense is about as deep as the devotion goes.

How ecstatic sports fans get if they come face to face with the players they obsess over! Will the same be true of Your peoples? Is it true today?

If we truly are followers of Your Way, Beloved, and we believe Your Word, then we will see Your reflection in every person, animal and plant throughout the world. And if that is true then we encounter You every day. Can we say that we are devoted to You and yet neglect or reject our fellow human beings, our fellow animals, or the rest of creation? How utterly absurd!

So, Beloved, what would life be like if Your Family Crest was visible on our foreheads? At the very least we would be known as ambassadors in Your world, for good or for ill. But, if we instead are in deep enough relationship with You to take devotion beyond the superficial, then we will allow our lives to be molded into the perfect reflection of Your love, and that is how Your Family crest – the cross – would become visible in the world.

Ah, Beloved, let it be so! May our Family be known for the thoughts, words and actions which reflect Your great love for the entire creation: people, animals, earth and plants alike. Mold and shape us into Your image once again. May all things be found dripping Your glory and bearing Your Family Crest, through the Holy Spirit, in Jesus’ name, amen.

A Bit of Sunshine: Beholding the Light Pouring in through the Window

Ah, sunshine! As you pour into our windows, filling these rooms with light, all of the creatures in our household are drawn to you. The ladybugs in the windowsill come out of their hiding, breaking forth with joy and zipping around our apartment. Our kitties stretch and yawn, leaping from the softness of their beds to find comfort in the warmth of your rays, and the geranium leaves spread wide, pulling the stalk closer to where you are.

"Basking in the Light" - Photo by Trista Wynne

Dear Beloved, as I consider Your precious gift of sunshine, I ponder the gift which You call us to be: the light of the world – vivid reflections of Your own Light and Life. When we are putting all of our energy into the work of Your Kingdom and reflecting Your incarnational ministry through our thoughts, words and actions, I wonder if the rest of the world will stop and take notice, like my household takes note of the sunshine today. Will people be drawn toward Your light in our lives as our kitties are to the sunlight?

The business-like model and measurement of “effectiveness” used in many churches suggests so. But sometimes, Beloved, I wonder if, rather than serving and loving you, this way of performance-focused ministry is really serving a false manifestation of You. Maybe it’s idolatrous… I wonder, Beloved, because when I read the gospels, I see a lot of rejection of the True Light of Your Kingdom. What makes me think that my ministry will, or should, be any different?

I also think, though, that for a time, You did have many who followed and sought after You: the weak, the poor the unclean, the infirm, the despised, the widows, the orphans, the foreigners – all of these were drawn to You. Even a few of the feared soldiers, scorned tax collectors and powerful rulers sought Your counsel. Still, all of them, even Your closest friends, fled, or even worse, betrayed You into the hands of wickedness.

Oh, Beloved, thank You that the story does not end there! Much is yet to be revealed regarding the Light, Your Light, which shines from everlasting to everlasting. We, dear Lord, only have a small window through which to see. Thank You for guiding and encouraging us when our view is limited. Thank You for still choosing to shine through Your world-wide church, even when some sections appear to neglect reflecting You outward from their midst. Thank You for giving even simple servants, like me, a bit of Your light, and for showing us, though Your Spirit of Wisdom and Grace, how to shine.

May the light You have given, and the tasks You have prepared for us to accomplish, bring glory for Your holy name, O Lord, my King. And for the people whom You have given to us in order that we might love them as You love us: may they experience joy, warmth and peace in our presence just as our kitties receive these things through the light of Your sunshine. Amen.

Oh Children, Let us Remember Who we Are!

Dear Papa ~

I’m so blessed and thankful that You call us children! Lord, I wish that all peoples knew the joy and peace that comes from experiencing this intimate relationship with You. Thank you for this revelation concerning Yourself long before anyone could really understand the implications this would have on prayer, worship and our interactions with one another. Thank you for embracing us all: each tribe and each person throughout the earth, throughout the time-space continuum.

Photo by my friend, Grete Norquist

You loved us long before we even knew what love was, and You have shown us how to love by entering into Your creation, embodied in an infant who became vulnerable in our arms. You became Love Incarnate and then all of creation began to remember the love song You had crafted for us in the beginning, before our separation took place. Little by little, through the life, speech, actions, death, burial and resurrection of Jesus, You reminded us that we are beloved and blessed in Your eyes.

Through a few notes here and a rest or two there, bit by bit we began to hear Your melody once again. Through Your Incarnation, You reminded us how to sing, and then, so that we never again would forget, You breathed Your creative Sophia-Spirit, sending Her throughout all of creation. She has swept over the face of the earth, swirled through the stars, and even beyond the edges of the galaxy, so that all of creation might declare Your praises, day and night, for all of eternity. Even now, She continues to infuse Your peoples with Your very Presence, breathing new life into and through us, granting us the courage we need to dance to Your song and to join in harmony as those who are beloved in Jesus the Christ.

May we wing and dance and re-create here on the earth for Your glory, O Blessed Lord, our Beloved Papa, who calls us Your own, forever and ever, amen.

Rest & Reconnection: Thanksgiving & Hope for Peace

Good afternoon, Beloved ~

The sunshine You are providing today is marvelous! Thank You for this glorious gift of grace and joy! Thank You for this day on which to rest and reflect on You!

Thank You for the gift of my husband. When I rest in the crook of his strong, gentle arms and listen to his heartbeat while my head lays on his chest, I find reflection of Your love. Thank You, Beloved, for speaking to me in this way. I pray that I, too, might become a tangible reflection of Your love here for many. May the words that I write, speak and sing, and the actions of my head, heart, hands and feet produce an abundance of fruit for Your Garden on the earth.

Thank You for this day of rest and reconnection!

"Reconnection" - Photo by Trista Wynne

For my friends, my sisters and brothers of many backgrounds who have trouble feeling close to You, O Beloved, surround them with compassion and grace! Raise up many to love on Your behalf. For those who feel ashamed or alone, O Lord, restore; reveal Yourself and let Your face shine through us who are called by Your name. O Christ, grant Your seekers the compassion to love in Your way; expand out hearts, minds and hands so we can reflect You to the ends of the earth. O Spirit of Life, grant wisdom and courage to the leaders of all the nations; infuse each one with the desire for peace and reconciliation so all peoples can enter Your Presence.

May all enemies be reconciled and striving cease to the ends of the earth! May all peoples be drawn to You and Love be known by all! May we unite and work together to reveal Your Kingdom through Your Holy Spirit, in Jesus’ name, amen.

On Earthly Transitions: Ponderings about the Pursuit of the New World

Good evening, Beloved!

I wonder what You are observing this evening. What things are in the hearts of people across the globe as they pursue their rights and equality? Are they encouraged or frustrated by the process? Why aren’t the governments willing to relinquish their power? Are we willing? Will their freedom mean the end of our status as “top dog”? Will that be a bad thing?

"Earthly Transitions" -  Photo by Matt Wynne

Although I do not specifically wish for it, and will grieve that day, I know that history shows us that our time has just about come to a close as an empire. I wonder what the new world, (post US empire) will look like. What languages will we speak? Who will assume authority? Will we have any humility at all or will we fight to the bitter end?

Oh Beloved, I wonder many things, but mostly I wonder how You view these upcoming transitions and if You have any particular words or a message to be shared. I wonder if the church leaders will look to You or to themselves for truth, guidance, understanding and peace. What about the governmental leaders? What about Your peoples?

May we all turn toward You! May we incline our hearts, minds and spirits towards You! May we look to Jesus for wisdom, and to see and to follow Your Way of Love! May Your Spirit of Grace and Life be stirring up within our core as a part of Your world-wide Church! Amen.

Your Steadfast Love Endures Forever: A Prayer of Confession & Remembrance

"A Love Note" - Photo by Trista Wynne

As I study the tenants of Islam this week, and continue my examination of ethics and reflection on Your Word, dear Lord, I am reminded of how great Your endless, steadfast love is towards all peoples, and I am so very grateful that because of Jesus, I, and all peoples, can call You Papa!

Thank You for my nephew's safe return home! Thank You for all of Your traveling mercies and protection, love and provision and all that You have been doing about which we have no idea. Thank You for Your hands of grace all over our lives and for the Presence of Your Spirit. Thank You, Lord, for shaping our lives in ways that we wouldn't ever have had the capacity to imagine. I trust that the closing doors around me are guiding me closer to a path that is for Your glory. Thank You for the encouragement that this trust brings, and for the gift of Your Spirit who enables us to trust You.

Thank You for Your faithfulness to our relationship; even when I falter or turn away, still You call to me. You are indeed the One who calls me “beloved” even though You are Lover of all. You are as committed to the murderer as to the mystic, as compassionate to the oppressor as to the oppressed, as passionate for the drug dealer as for the devout. Your ways are far above me, Lord, Your steadfast, all-encompassing love is beyond compare! Surely there is none like You, o Lord, Beloved who created all things! You are the God Most High & Holy who also chose to enter into the world encompassed in flesh, infusing every fiber of that human body with Your presence. Through the actions of being born, living, walking, teaching, healing, working, touching, dying, being buried and rising up again on the third day, and then appearing to many people before returning to Your throne above all which You had made, You, o Lord, have given the greatest revelation of Yourself as the Great Lover. You promised to send another part of Yourself, Your very Breath, the Spirit of Life, Wisdom and Truth who has come to dwell within Your many peoples, continuing the work of drawing all of creation back into relationship with You, even to this very day. You are the Most Devoted of all lovers, Beloved! How marvelous You are in all of Your works!

Oh how we love to speak of love; how often we speak of romance! But far beyond all human endeavors, Your passion surpasses us all! Of, if we only would all be filled to the point of overflowing with Your steadfast love, Beloved! Such peace and self-less giving would be found throughout the world! I long for healing and harmony for all living things and for all of creation and humanity to be restored. Until that day, I will hope in You, Beloved, and I will teach others to do the same, in Jesus’ name, through the Holy Spirit, amen.

Ah Beloved: A Valentine’s Poem



Photo by Matt Wynne

Ah, Beloved,

how precious You are!

How valuable is Your Word of Love!

More to be desired than gold,

more so even than fine diamonds,

Your presence is all that I need.

Hold fast, Beloved,

how mighty You are!

How strong is Your steadfast embrace!

More to be desired than influence,

more so even than the power of kings,
Your heartbeat is all that I need.

O Sweet Beloved,
how gentle You are!
How tender is Your mercy for all!
More to be desired than satin,
more so even than fine silks,
Your hessed is all that I need.